Just Sayin'

What a Beautiful Young Nose So, I have a theory that Voldemort's nose is the most interesting character in the Harry Potter series.  Think about it, it was around in the Chamber or Secrets flashbacks and then, all of the sudden, it was gone! The story of Voldemort's nose leaves so many questions unanswered. Where did it go when it left Voldemort's face? How did Voldemort survive without a nose? How did his nose feel about that? I decided to write a short play to answer those questions. (Also, today is Lord Voldemort's birthday, so happy birthday to the most evil wizard to ever live, I hope you don't get your wish when you blow out your candles). *** Scene 1: Life of a Nose Enter a Nose, it is a pale nose, very pointy and sad. Nose: To sneeze or not to sneeze, that is the question. [Dramatic pause] I had a face once - a great and terrible face. The face of Voldemort. He was so evil; I was proud to be a part of that face. When I was on that face, I was...

So, the other day I was on Facebook, you know, like your typical college student with three billion pages to read a night, and I found one of those list challenge where you go through a list of things and mark all the things on the list you've done. Anyway, I found one that was called '50 Books to Read Before You Die'. Anyway, I read a lot, so I thought it I would try it, but out of 50, I'd only read 19, and, while most of the books on the list are famous and well known and note-worthy, I don't think my life would be significantly different if I hadn't read Frankenstein. Which, by the way, was like the dullest book I've ever read. I don't really like this whole idea of list of "necessary" books. It's hard to create a list of books that everyone should read before they die because, obviously, not everyone likes the same sort of thing. That's not to say that I don't think dark or boring books can be valuable. For example, Heart of ...

So, as any good English major should, I get really upset when people under value the letter W. For some reason, people are constantly under-pronouncing the letter W in words. It's a very important letter for the English language. Think about it, without the letter W, we wouldn't have words like 'word' or 'who' or 'what' or 'Wednesday' (and you all know how I feel about Wednesday). Also, speaking phonetically, the W sound is produced by an voiced bilabial glide, and doesn't that just sound cool? Like, I have this one friend who just refuses to pronounce the W in the words 'drawer' and 'dwarf'. And I'm all like, I'm not sure if you know this, but W is actually the best letter. It upsets me so much! English, as a language, is super frustrating because most words have letters that aren't supposed to be pronounced. But I cannot think of a single instance of a word that contains a W in which the W is not supposed to be...

So, I live in fear of several things, one: the zombie apocalypse, two: whales, and three: people who can't use semi-colons properly. But there is a fourth fear, a great fear that surpasses all other fears: the Harry Potter film remake. Now, before you freak out, let me just say that, as far as I know, there are no plans to remake the Harry Potter movies in the near future. But, let's be real here people, it's coming. If  Hollywood can remake The Wizard of Oz , perhaps one of the best known American film classics of all time, they can remake Harry Potter too. And I'm not even going to bring up the fact that someone actually managed to make Conan the Barbarian worse than the original; that took skill. I don't even want to talk about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory . Which means that a Harry Potter remake is actually quite conceivable. Like, I'm not saying it's going to happen today, or tomorrow. But in 10 or 20 years time, Warner Brothers is going to de...