Just Sayin'

So, as I'm sure all of you know, the third season of Game of Thrones is starting this week, so I would like to address something that's been bothering me: there are no good Game of Thrones memes. The whole "brace yourself, ____ is coming" was funny the first few times and hipster Jon Snow is always good but come on, "brace yourself, finals are coming"? "Brace yourself, the the mosquitos are coming"? Why not just say "Brace yourself, poodles are coming" or, if you wanted to be really creative, you could find a picture of Ned Stark on a horse, add a tri-corner hat and say "brace yourself, the British are coming!"? But seriously, Game of Thrones fans, we can do better than that! Why not actually relate it to the show? Like "brace yourself, I die in episode 12, but that's not really a surprise because you've all seen Lord of the Rings" or "brace yourselves, I may have unintentionally just started a war becau

So, it has occurred to me recently that I am a shopaholic. Now, I know this is sort of a sterotypical thing that people say when they don't know how to manage money, but I'm being serious. I know about saving and financial responsibility and all that and I practiced it effectively for the past 17 years or so, but, in the past year or so, I have become a shopaholic. Literally, I actually have to spend money. It causes me physical pain to pass Wal-Mart without buying anything. And that's not all. The worst thing is clothes. Clothes, so many clothes. I think what happened is that, when I went to college and had a giant new closet and realized that it wasn't full (because I left a lot of clothes at home), I got this psychological urge to fill my closet at any cost, literally. And now, I've realized, when I go home this summer, I am literally not going to have enough space for all these new clothes! I'm going to have to get rid of some of my clothes so that I can

No One in the World Has Hair this Color So, this is a topic that's been bothering me for a while. A few weeks ago, I saw the movie Tangled and, and I know this is the point of the movie, Rapunzel's hair is completely ridiculous. But it got me thinking; Disney movie characters have the most unrealistic hair I've ever seen. Like, seriously! Originally, I was going to include this in a longer blog about things I don't understand about Disney movies, but then I realized there wasn't that much I didn't understand about Disney movies and I had a lot to say about hair. Like, think about The Little Mermaid , I know she's supposed to have red hair, but she doesn't have red hair, she has red hair. In reality, humans who have red hair have orange hair, but Ariel has RED hair, fire engine red. What's more, I don't know if the people at Disney have ever seen hair underwater, but it doesn't float around in a big, red, hairy cloud; it breaks into s

So, yesterday, I was on Facebook and I saw this article that one of my friends posted ( http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2008/03/31_octo.shtml ) about the secret life of the American octopus. Anyway, it was an interesting article, but there was one line that particularly bothered me: "They're obsessively secretive, solitary and pretty spooky," Caldwell said. "If you watch them, they watch you back. It's hard to study them." . That's right, somewhere, some place, an octopus is watching you. Now, I find this idea distressing on many levels. I thought the whole 'you're never more than 10 feet from a spider' thing was bad, but I was wrong, this is much worse (not that spiders aren't bad, because I saw another article about how spiders eat bats, but that is a different blog). I don't trust octopi. When I was about twelve, I saw this special on the animal planet about how, in the future, when humans are extinct, land octopi

So, as you all know, today is St. Patrick's Day, which is like the second St. Patrick's Day that Penn State celebrates, after State Patty's day and, actually, as far as most people at PSU are concerned, they're exactly the same. Basically that just means that everyone gets a second chance to wear their green t-shirts and light up shamrock necklaces and burst out into spontaneous bag-piping (which, ironically is more of a Scottish thing) and everyone gets just as drunk as they did before. Anyway, my best friend and I took this opportunity to ride Penn State's white loop last night and observe the festivities. My friend also wrote a blog about this, so check it out if you want ( http://coffeeyogaandlifesothernecessities.blogspot.com ). Consider it a sociological experiment, this is the data we uncovered, in the form of a short play. I call it Friendly Drunks 2: This Bus is in Motion . *** Scene 1: Concerned Drunks My friend and I get on the CATA bus, as we sit d

Okay, so, as there's just been a conclave, a new pope, and a retired pope, there's been increased attention to the Catholic Church lately and, as a result, I've seen a lot of Catholic memes, some of which  are quite funny because, contrary to the popular belief that Catholicism is somehow a religion based on guilt, suspicion, fear, et cetera, et cetera (and Latin - you'd be right about that), we do have a sense of humor. If you disagree, one only needs to watch HBO's The Borgias .  Anyway, the problem with some of these memes is that you need to know something about Catholicism to get the joke, so I'm going to explain some memes that I've seen recently that non-Catholics might be confused by. I'm not a theologian or anything, so I apologize if these aren't the most detailed explanations, but, you get the idea. Without further ado, I give you Catholic Humor - explained. Okay, so there's been a lot of talk about how Pope Francis is the first