Somewhere, Some Place an Octopus is Watching You

So, yesterday, I was on Facebook and I saw this article that one of my friends posted (http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2008/03/31_octo.shtml) about the secret life of the American octopus. Anyway, it was an interesting article, but there was one line that particularly bothered me: "They're obsessively secretive, solitary and pretty spooky," Caldwell said. "If you watch them, they watch you back. It's hard to study them.". That's right, somewhere, some place, an octopus is watching you.

Now, I find this idea distressing on many levels. I thought the whole 'you're never more than 10 feet from a spider' thing was bad, but I was wrong, this is much worse (not that spiders aren't bad, because I saw another article about how spiders eat bats, but that is a different blog). I don't trust octopi. When I was about twelve, I saw this special on the animal planet about how, in the future, when humans are extinct, land octopi will roam the earth. Ever since then, I've been suspicious of octopi

. They're watching us and sometime, some day, they're going to walk out of the ocean with their octopus death-ray and it'll be all over. And now, science confirms it!

Think about it! Octopi are much smarter than humans (so are dolphins and mice, but that's beside the point). Remember Paul the Octopus? He correctly predicted the outcome of the FIFA world cup in 2010. Name me 10 humans who could do that. Also, octopi heads are so big, they must have HUGE brains or something. What's more, the Beatles knew about this. Consider the song Octopus' Garden, Ringo Starr was trying to warn us that one day, the octopi would come out of the ocean and start growing gardens and roses and stuff and start selling their produce at the farmer's market! It's coming, I tell you, it's coming.

Just kidding, I'm pretty sure the Beatles used LSD.

Just sayin'