Disney Hair

No One in the World Has Hair this Color

So, this is a topic that's been bothering me for a while. A few weeks ago, I saw the movie Tangled and, and I know this is the point of the movie, Rapunzel's hair is completely ridiculous. But it got me thinking; Disney movie characters have the most unrealistic hair I've ever seen. Like, seriously! Originally, I was going to include this in a longer blog about things I don't understand about Disney movies, but then I realized there wasn't that much I didn't understand about Disney movies and I had a lot to say about hair.

Like, think about The Little Mermaid, I know she's supposed to have red hair, but she doesn't have red hair, she has red hair. In reality, humans who have red hair have orange hair, but Ariel has RED hair, fire engine red. What's more, I don't know if the people at Disney have ever seen hair underwater, but it doesn't float around in a big, red, hairy cloud; it breaks into strands and floats around in tendrils. It is impossible for hair to have that much body underwater; as anyone who has ever bathed knows, when you get your hair wet, it gets plastered to your head. Now, I don't know if the people at Disney shower but, just because Ariel is a mermaid, does not mean her hair has superpowers.

And then there's Jasmine. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but her braid is thicker than her

waist. Now, either she's got a serious eating disorder or her hair's on some serious steroids. Plus, in the grand tradition of Tangled's Rapunzel, if Jasmine had that much hair, the weight would break her neck. Not to mention that, even though Rapunzel has magic hair, that still doesn't explain how her hair is strong enough to lift a full grown person. No amount of vitamin B could be responsible for that. She doesn't have hair growing out of her head, she has steel. Not to mention, her hair is thicker than her waist too.  

And, before you say that it's just Disney succumbing to society's unrealistic expectations of women and their bodies, but it's not just female characters. Male characters have this problem too. Prince Philip is Disney's Sleeping Beauty was imprisoned by a witch, fought his way past a dragon, and climbed through a thorn hedge, all without a hair out of place. The same thing happens to Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid, he gets caught on a ship during a storm and almost drowns but, God forbid anything happens to his hair! And then there's the beast in Beauty and the Beast, he turns into a human and all the sudden he's Fabio (Tarzan has the same issue)! Now, I know that when he was a wolf/bear/wildebeest man he had a lot of hair but that doesn't mean he has to keep it all when he turns back into a human. It doesn't even make sense! Which, at least is better than Cinderella's Prince Charming, he doesn't even look like a human! He's a walking, talking nutcracker. Seriously, it looks like someone painted his hair on.

So, basically what I'm trying to say is that Disney gives all it's characters Edward Cullen hair. At least Prince Charming hasn't been asked to star in a Twilight yet. Yet.

Just sayin'