Just Sayin'

So, with father's day this weekend a lot of people are taking to the Internet to share lovely, heart warming stories about their fathers. I think that's great, but, sometimes, those stories can get a little boring after a while (to quote Tolstoy: "happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"). So, instead in honor of father's day, I thought I would offer a tribute to the most disastrous fathers in Game of Thrones . If you're unfamiliar with Game of Thrones , this is a big category because there are a ton of horrible parents on the show. I've managed to narrow it down to ten: 10. Eddard Stark - Ned is arguably one of the best fathers on Game of Thrones . He's generally fair and caring, however, his actions have put his kids in extremely perilous positions. Let's not forget that it was Ned's obsession with honor that caused started the War of Five Kings, which led to his son Robb's death. Furtherm...

Those Eyebrows Though As you know, I have strong opinions about eyebrows . I also have strong opinons about Game of Thrones. Usually, those two things do not intersect, but today they do. Let's not dance around the issue here: Daenerys Targaryen has weird eyebrows. (If you don't watch Game of Thrones , this probably is total nonsense to you. In case you're interested, Daenerys Targaryen is one of the show's main characters. She is descended from a royal line that originated in Valyria. In the A Song of Ice and Fire books , Valyrians have very distinctive physical features: white hair and purple eyes. In the show, Daenerys (aka Dany) has white hair (a wig) but her eyebrows are dark brown -- mostly because the actress' natural hair is dark brown.) Anyway, if you watch Game of Thrones at all you know that Dany looks great in almost every episode and she's completely gorgeous and beautiful. However, the weirdness of her eyebrows is unavoidable. I know it,...

So, lately I've been hearing a lot of hype about Jurassic World . Everyone's like: "You have to see it! You can barely even spot the fake dinosaurs!" Now, I haven't seen Jurassic World , but I don't really need to because I've seen this movie before. Here's how it goes: "We've created dinosaurs, but don't worry, they're completely safe. Timmy, look at the cute little dinosaur! Touch it! Pet it! Ride it! Oh, it bit your finger off? We can fix that! It bit your head off? That might be a problem. The dinosaur is on the loose and killing everyone? Who could have seen that coming?" Me. I could have seen that coming because I saw Jurassic Park , The Lost World , and Jurassic Park III . Don't get me wrong, I like Chris Pratt and I'm sure Jurassic World is a lovely movie with great special effects and awesome theme music, but those other films gave me some clue that a dinosaur theme park was not a good idea. There are two th...

So, after last night's finale of  Game of Thrones , I noticed a ton of awesome Yaks about the episode (because, you know, Yik Yak really has its finger on the pulse of the nation). In honor of the end of season five, I decided to share my favorite Yaks with you (and yes, one or two of them are mine): Some people were concerned for their personal safety: Others faced an existential crisis: One helpful yak-er offered a succinct summary of the past season: Many expressed *some* frustration: Some questioned everything: Others offered helpful tips: Others needed help themselves: While others tried to put things into perspective: Of course, there were the obligatory 'Winter is Coming' jokes: Some consoled themselves with hopes of resurrection:  While others mourned for Jon Snow: Meanwhile, some had kind words for Th...

Warning: Spoilers for both the A Song of Ice and Fire books and the TV show Game of Thrones! Spoilers! Spoilers! An Average White Walker Where do White Walkers come from?  This is an often asked question in the A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) universe that has never been answered to my satisfaction. If you're unfamiliar with ASOIAF/ Game of Thrones , the White Walkers are super scary ice/magic creatures/people that lead an army of zombies. (Cool story, right?) An Average Stone Man (Person with Greyscale) The most obvious origin of the White Walkers, of course, is magic. But, as easy as it is to write the White Walkers off as an inexplicable creation of a fantasy world, that's never really been George R.R. Martin's (GRRM) style. In the ASOIAF universe, magic is not unconquerable and it's not an excuse for miraculous, crazy, and inexplicable things to happen. Magic exists, but it has consequences, problems, and failings. For example, Melisandre, the Red W...

Clearly, someone important took note of a blog about Panda Greed that I wrote a few months ago because, a few days ago, my friend Megan made me this 'Panda Patent,' giving me control over all the pandas in the world -- just a normal Sunday, right? Because Megan obviously has ALL control over pandas. At first, I was excited about owning all the pandas -- then I read the fine print. As you can see, as the new Panda Empress, I am responsible for all panda ruckus. Now, I didn't know what panda ruckus was, so I decided to look into it. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH RUCKUS PANDAS CAUSE? You may think that pandas are rather tame animals, doing innocent things like smoking cigars, throwing parties, drinking vodka, and stealing cars. Instead, it turns out that pandas are always doing crazy stuff like eating bamboo, climbing trees, and sleeping.  And I thought pandas were so innocent! Just watch the National Zoo Panda Cam some time, it's shocking! The other day, I saw pandas walkin...