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Showing posts from September, 2018

I Got Hit in the Head with a Baseball & Other Tales

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So, something happened to me recently that reinforced my universal dislike of all athletic events: I got hit in the head with a baseball. And, when I say I got hit in the head with a baseball, I mean I REALLY got hit in the head with a baseball. It was a foul ball at a PROFESSIONAL game. It's a dramatic story (well, it was dramatic for me; it was probably funny for everyone else), so I'm going to tell you what happened. My company hosted a baseball night at the local, minor-league team's stadium. They rented a box and got it catered. Anyway, I wasn't planning to go to the baseball game because I am decidedly not a sporty person, but my work friends ended up persuading me to go. In fact, I was certain I'd never been to a sporting event before this game, until my friend reminded me that we went to a baseball game together when we were twelve (but I guess I blocked that out). Anyway, we went to the game, and everything was going well (minus the fact that I don...

Peanut Butter Whipped Cream: What is the World Coming To?

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Okay, so I've had a tough couple of months: I moved into a new apartment, started a new job, someone backed into my car, I got hit in the head with a baseball, it's been raining for a month straight, and my bathroom ceiling wouldn't stop leaking, so the maintenance guys at my apartment complex cut a giant hole in the ceiling. I blame it on the Mercury retrograde. Anyway, I was dealing with all of this pretty well, but then I saw something in the supermarket that pushed me over the edge: PEANUT BUTTER WHIPPED CREAM. I am irrationally angry that this product exists. I find it frustrating because you know that this product exists solely for the novelty. People in the supermarket will walk past it, think "that's weird, I wonder what it tastes like?" Then, they'll try it once, It'll be gross, and they'll throw it away. And they'll be $3 poorer, or however much this product costs. Now, I didn't buy this product because I'm 90% sure that...