I Got Hit in the Head with a Baseball & Other Tales

So, something happened to me recently that reinforced my universal dislike of all athletic events: I got hit in the head with a baseball. And, when I say I got hit in the head with a baseball, I mean I REALLY got hit in the head with a baseball. It was a foul ball at a PROFESSIONAL game.

It's a dramatic story (well, it was dramatic for me; it was probably funny for everyone else), so I'm going to tell you what happened.

My company hosted a baseball night at the local, minor-league team's stadium. They rented a box and got it catered. Anyway, I wasn't planning to go to the baseball game because I am decidedly not a sporty person, but my work friends ended up persuading me to go. In fact, I was certain I'd never been to a sporting event before this game, until my friend reminded me that we went to a baseball game together when we were twelve (but I guess I blocked that out).

Anyway, we went to the game, and everything was going well (minus the fact that I don't understand baseball at all and had no idea what was happening in the game) until I decided to sit outside the box for a bit. I was just casually chatting to one of colleagues when--WHAM--a baseball came out of no where and slammed into the back of my head.

Which was pretty dramatic.

What happened was a foul ball passed over my head, hit the glass on the front of the box, bounced off the glass, and clobbered me in the back of the head. It actually hit the glass so hard that it left an impression on the glass. In case you're wondering, it was pretty painful.

Of course, after that, everyone freaked out, and everyone seemed to think I was dying for a minute or two. The EMT person at the stadium came and looked at my head and checked for a concussion. Fortunately, I didn't have a concussion because it hit me in the hard (well, harder) part of my skull, whereas most concussions happen when you get hit on the top of your head.

Meanwhile, the whole time everyone was buzzing around me asking me how I felt and if my head hurt (it did), I was just sitting there thinking "this is why I don't go to sporting events." Like, seriously, this is why I didn't want to participate in 10th grade gym; I was trying my best not to get hit in the head with a volleyball. And this is why I don't think phys ed should be mandatory in schools; there are people like me out there who are going to get in the head with a ball no matter what.

So, basically, this was the universe telling me, "you're not welcome at athletic events; just stay at home and write blog posts in your baseball-free apartment." And, I'm cool with that.

The only part of the whole experience that really made me upset was the fact that the people at the stadium didn't even offer me free tickets or anything. They gave me a signed baseball, which would have been cool, except for the fact that I'd just been hit in the head by another baseball. Tactless, no? I mean, if I was the manager of a stadium, and someone got hit in the head on my watch, I'd at least offer them a cookie or something to make up for it. Or, maybe you only get a cookie if you actually have a concussion.

I no longer have the baseball that ruthlessly attacked my skull. I gave it to the husband of one of my work friends. He also happens to be a vlogger, so he vlogged about me getting hit in the head with a baseball. So, you can watch that if you want (I'll insert it here).

Anyway, I am alive, and I'm not concussed. My work friends were really kind about the whole thing. All my colleagues were really concerned about my welfare, and one of my work friends was concerned that I might be concussed, so she drove me back to my apartment in my car, which was very sweet.

However, the important point is that this whole experience reinforced that I am not a person who should be going to sporting events. Next time, if you need me to go to any sort of athletic occasion, I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise, and pretending that I don't exist.

Just sayin'