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Showing posts from October, 2019

I Bought a Banana Plant Online

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I recently took on a very big and serious responsibility: I bought a banana plant online. Now, if you think that's over the top, it definitely is. But, if you ask me if it was a necessary purchase, I would say it definitely was. Like there's nothing to cheer you up like a banana plant on your coffee table (except maybe a million dollars on your coffee table, but I'm not holding my breath for that one). Now, I know what you're thinking, "you live in Pennsylvania, what on Earth are you doing with a banana plant?" Obviously, I'm not going to grow it outside because, you know, it's COLD here. I bought a dwarf variety of banana that only grows to four feet tall, which means I can keep it inside. Anyway, my banana plant is named Liam and he is the crown jewel of my plant family. Well, he's the crown jewel for now. I just ordered a kumquat tree, and I'm thinking of buying a lemon tree or a bat flower next. I started down this road about a ...

Writing a Resume for My Cat

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A Very Professional Cat So, about ten months ago, I adopted a cat. Her name is Pepper Potts, and she is a very busy cat. She's always industriously getting herself stuck in the pantry or trying to crawl into the fireplace. Anyway, her vet office just announced that they're running a costume contest for Halloween. I was chatting to my friend about how I was planning to enter Pepper into the contest, and I jokingly said that I hoped she would win because then I could put it on her resume. We had a good chuckle about that, but then I thought "wait a minute, Pepper should have a resume!" I mean, Pepper has skills. She has experience! She's definitely employable. I mean, she doesn't have thumbs, but, other than that, there's nothing stopping her from getting any job she wants. Plus, today is her birthday, and she's going to be three-years-old, which means she should probably get out into the workforce (you know, so she can start a 401K and all that j...