5 Reasons to Have a Cat

My Cat (She's very sassy)

So, I've had a cat for a little more than a year now, and I'm having such a fun time being a cat parent, that I basically spend all my free time trying to convince all my friends and family to get cats too. Shockingly, some people have expressed some reservations about bringing a cat into their lives, so I've decided to assemble a list of all the best reasons to have a cat. You're welcome.
1) Supplemental Heat - When a cat crawls onto your lap, it's the heat equivalent of wrapping yourself in a fleece blanket. They're so WARM! I think it's a combination of all the fur and their generally fiery personalities. One cat on the lap makes you toasty warm, if you get more than two, you might break into a sweat (but that's unlikely to happen because I have never yet met a cat that will tolerate sharing a lap). Granted, cats are a marvelously inefficient way to produce heat. They require a lot of energy input (chicken and hairball treats mostly), you have to do a lot of coaxing and petting to actually get them on your lap, and if you move two centimeters, they will jump off again. Plus, you're likely to sustain several small puncture wounds as the cat heats you. However, if you're looking for an incredibly idiosyncratic source of heat, boy do I have the pet for you.

2) Immune System Support - Every time my cat digs her claws into my soft, unprotected flesh, I give her a scratch behind the ears and thank her for her consideration because being scratched by a cat is essentially like getting a free vaccination. There's nothing like being constantly exposed to whatever viruses and bacteria cats have living on their claws to strengthen your immune system. If you can keep the scratches from becoming horribly infected, I'm pretty sure you'll never get sick again! You might have scars, and a lot of your favorite blankets and sweaters will have small, claw shaped holes, but that's a small price to pay for your health.

3) You'll Never Have to Buy an Alarm Clock Again - After a long night of patrolling the house and trying to eat the crickets under the bathtub (yes, I did live in an apartment with a colony of crickets underneath the bathtub; it's a long story), your cat will very likely be longing for a nice bowl of kibble before going to sleep for the day. So, of course, they'll need to get their lazy human out of bed to feed them. Cats have developed advanced wake-the-human-up techniques, which they usually employee between 4 and 6 in the morning. These techniques include standing on your head and meowing, pawing at your face, or simply yowling. Trust me, if you have a cat who yowls to be feed every day at 5am, you'll never need an alarm clock again. My cat, Pepper, usually starts the morning wake up process with some quiet meows, which progresses to knocking everything off my nightstand, and ends with biting my fingers (if I'm really ignoring her). Trust me, there's nothing like the sensation of sharp little teeth closing around your hand to give you a jolt of energy to start the day.

4) Entertainment - If you're looking to save some money, you should get a cat. Sure, it will probably cost you about $100 a month to keep up with food, litter, and vet visits, but, on the other hand, you can cancel your cable and Netflix subscriptions and watch the cat instead. Have you ever watched a cat get a ping pong ball stuck under a radiator and then try to get it out through ineffectual pouncing? It's hilarious. Not to mention that watching a cat do anything is a million times more satisfying than the last season of Game of Thrones (yup, still bitter about that).

5) New Decor Ideas - Something happens when you get a cat, it might be the twitching whiskers or the hypnotic sway of the tail, but, as soon as you get a cat, you'll want to surround yourself with more cats. And, without even thinking about it, you'll redecorate your house with cat decor. As it stands, I have a cat flower pot, drawings/paintings of cats on the walls, cat oven mitts,  a cat wallet, and cat sheets. Plus, cats ensure that you invest your money wisely, as they force you to buy only non-breakable decorations for your home. (Because, if you have something breakable, they'll break it, trust me). If you're investing in durable, sturdy items, thank a cat!

In all seriousness though, cats are great pets. They're clean, fairly easy to take care of, relatively independent, and they're super low maintenance compared to dogs. Plus, they're very affectionate. Anyone who says cats aren't friendly animals has never lived with a cat (or they've lived with a weird cat). There are a lot of great cats out there who need homes, so, if you're thinking about getting a pet, please consider getting a cat.

Just sayin'