Just Sayin'

If you read my last blog about my fish, you know that my fish tank is going through a bacterial swim bladder disease epidemic, which, surprisingly, is much less fun than it sounds. Anyway, in the middle of this whole thing I left for a couple of days to visit family and I left my roommates in charge of the fish. While I was away, one of my fish died and my roommates didn't notice right away. Well, they didn't notice until they caught my Chinese Algae Eater EATING the dead fish. There was some screaming that day. Needless to say, my Chinese Algae Eater is now in time out. Which basically just means that he's in a tank by himself and I scold him whenever I walk past the tank. Now, a lot of you may think that this is too harsh. A lot of you may say "he's just a fish; he's just following his instincts." That's not true! My Chinese Algae Eater, whose name is Joaquin (but I call him Joaquo [pronounce wah-co]), is not really a fish; he's more like...

So, the other day I was visiting with some family members, and we were sitting around a round table having lunch, and one of my cousins asked me to pass the water. I reached my arms across the table, picked up the water pitcher, and handed it to her. She looked at me like I was a psycho, mutant, alien and said, "wait, did you reach that without standing up? You have freakishly long arms." Me being me, I've been thinking about it ever since: Is this true? Do I have freakishly long arms? How long is an arm supposed to be? Wait, is this why my hand eye coordination is so awful? That's why I'm so bad at sports!  I'm like really self-conscious about it now. I've been walking around with my elbows tucked against my body so that it looks like my arms are shorter. Actually, that probably looks just as weird as having really, really long arms, but I'm going to look weird either way, so what's the difference? I tried to measure my arm span with a tape ...

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I didn't have a Snapchat, and I was okay with that. I was like "Snapchat! What's wrong with these young people and their bamboozling picture taking devices! You kids get off my lawn!" Oh, how young I was (note, this was about 10 months ago). I don't actually remember why I got a Snapchat, but I suspect my friends KLMM and MKPJ had something to do with it. They were probably like, "if you get a Snapchat, your life will be full of unicorns and chocolate and everyone will want to share a Coke with you!" And, like a fool whose name was never on any of those Coke bottles, I believed them. If you've read my first blog, you know that the same logic is responsible for the existence of this blog. Anyway, now I have a Snapchat and everything is AWFUL. I'm addicted to Snapchat. I don't want to Snap. I have to! I have a Snapping dependency problem. Half the time, I don't even know what I'm Snapping...

So, if you know me, you'll know that I've recently been going through a fish crisis. What's a fish crisis, you ask? Well, a fish crisis is when you have a fish tank full of thirty, healthy guppies, you get one new guppy with a tiny little bit of bacteria on its scales, and all of the sudden you only have six guppies. Yeah. That's a fish crisis. So, while I was frantically trying to avert mass guppy death, I did a lot of research on the internet about fish diseases (yes, I am that person), and decided that my guppies were afflicted by bacterial swim bladder disease, which is just as fun as it sounds. Basically, it makes your fish swim upside down until they die. So, while I was reading all these fish enthusiast forums, all the fish experts were all like "yeah, if it's this disease do this and this and treat with a general antibiotic." Of course, my reactions to this was, they make antibiotics for fish? (I mean, I guess it makes sense since a lot of...