Do I Have Abnormally Long Arms?
So, the other day I was visiting with some family members, and we were sitting around a round table having lunch, and one of my cousins asked me to pass the water. I reached my arms across the table, picked up the water pitcher, and handed it to her. She looked at me like I was a psycho, mutant, alien and said, "wait, did you reach that without standing up? You have freakishly long arms."
Me being me, I've been thinking about it ever since: Is this true? Do I have freakishly long arms? How long is an arm supposed to be? Wait, is this why my hand eye coordination is so awful? That's why I'm so bad at sports!
I'm like really self-conscious about it now. I've been walking around with my elbows tucked against my body so that it looks like my arms are shorter. Actually, that probably looks just as weird as having really, really long arms, but I'm going to look weird either way, so what's the difference?
I tried to measure my arm span with a tape measure, but my tape measure only goes up to 60 inches and that was too short! The fact that my arm span is over 60 inches is horrifying. I mean, I know that's five feet, but I'm 5 foot 5. That means my arm span is almost equal to my height. Is that normal? I mean, those are like chimpanzee proportions or something. That can't be right! We're not monkeys anymore; we've evolved!!!!!
Anyway, ever since then, I've been going up to people randomly and asking them how wide their arm span is. The reaction I typically get to this is "why are you crazy?" then, I explain the situation and the reaction I get is "why are you crazy?" then I make them measure their arm against my arm anyway. One of my roommates is 5 foot 5 too and it turns out that her arms are actually about an inch longer than mine. That didn't make me feel better though, because I think she has abnormally long arms too.
Maybe it's a generational thing; the cousin who made this comment is a little older than me. You know how each generation is supposed to have a longer life expectancy? Maybe it's the same thing with arms. Maybe, in 100 years, everyone's arms will be longer than their bodies and they'll have to have like 3 elbows or something. That would really defeat the point of basketball.
I do have some qualms about this theory though. I mean, the cousin who made this comment is shorter than me, so, naturally, her arms are shorter too. But I also measured my arm against the arm of one of my other cousins who's like 4 inches taller than me and her arms were like 2 or 3 inches shorter than mine! Either she has T-Rex arms or my apartment is home to two long armed weirdos.
Maybe long armed people just seek each out subconsciously. Or, maybe, they're forced to be friends with each other because no one else in society wants to associate with them. Maybe central Pennsylvania is just a hot spot for long armed people. It's probably all that acid rain and fracking.
Just sayin'
Me being me, I've been thinking about it ever since: Is this true? Do I have freakishly long arms? How long is an arm supposed to be? Wait, is this why my hand eye coordination is so awful? That's why I'm so bad at sports!
I'm like really self-conscious about it now. I've been walking around with my elbows tucked against my body so that it looks like my arms are shorter. Actually, that probably looks just as weird as having really, really long arms, but I'm going to look weird either way, so what's the difference?
I tried to measure my arm span with a tape measure, but my tape measure only goes up to 60 inches and that was too short! The fact that my arm span is over 60 inches is horrifying. I mean, I know that's five feet, but I'm 5 foot 5. That means my arm span is almost equal to my height. Is that normal? I mean, those are like chimpanzee proportions or something. That can't be right! We're not monkeys anymore; we've evolved!!!!!
Anyway, ever since then, I've been going up to people randomly and asking them how wide their arm span is. The reaction I typically get to this is "why are you crazy?" then, I explain the situation and the reaction I get is "why are you crazy?" then I make them measure their arm against my arm anyway. One of my roommates is 5 foot 5 too and it turns out that her arms are actually about an inch longer than mine. That didn't make me feel better though, because I think she has abnormally long arms too.
Maybe it's a generational thing; the cousin who made this comment is a little older than me. You know how each generation is supposed to have a longer life expectancy? Maybe it's the same thing with arms. Maybe, in 100 years, everyone's arms will be longer than their bodies and they'll have to have like 3 elbows or something. That would really defeat the point of basketball.
I do have some qualms about this theory though. I mean, the cousin who made this comment is shorter than me, so, naturally, her arms are shorter too. But I also measured my arm against the arm of one of my other cousins who's like 4 inches taller than me and her arms were like 2 or 3 inches shorter than mine! Either she has T-Rex arms or my apartment is home to two long armed weirdos.
Maybe long armed people just seek each out subconsciously. Or, maybe, they're forced to be friends with each other because no one else in society wants to associate with them. Maybe central Pennsylvania is just a hot spot for long armed people. It's probably all that acid rain and fracking.
Just sayin'
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