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Showing posts from January, 2016

Bring Back the Mammoth!

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If you're on the east coast of the US right now, you're probably being buried alive in snow from Winter Storm Jonas (can we collectively agree to fire the person who decided to name a blizzard after a boy band?). Do you know what would be great in a blizzard like this? A mammoth. You can't drive your car in the snow? Climb on top of a mammoth. Mammoths are the original four wheel drive. Don't have snow tires? Hitch a sled to your mammoth! Mammoths are very fuel efficient, practical, all terrain vehicles. Now, I know what you're thinking: mammoths are extinct, right? Yes, they are...for now. I'm not a scientist. However, if I was a scientist, I would be devoting all my time and energy to resurrecting the Woolly Mammoth. Let me explain. Humans are mostly responsible for the extinction of mammoths (this is why we can't have nice things). Yes, there is some evidence that suggests that climate change may have pushed mammoths to extinction, but there is also a...

Things I'm Bad at as an Adult

Not too long ago, Jenna Marbles made a video about how she's bad at being an adult . I watched that video and I thought: psh, I'm worse at more things than that! I'm horrible at being an adult! I mean, Jenna Marbles has curtains in her house and more than one plate; she's practically the queen of the grownups! I, on the other hand, am very good at not being an adult. First of all, I'm terrible at making phone calls. Jenna Marbles talked about this too, so I think it might be a generational thing. Whenever I make a phone call, I go through a couple of steps: 1) try to convince someone else to make the call, 2) delay making the call as long as possible, 3) spend at least half and hour mentally preparing to make the call, and 4) actually making the call. Consequently, I'm also really bad at answering the phone. I never answer the phone if it's a number I don't know (which means I miss a lot of important calls) and, half the time, if it's a number I kn...

If Game of Thrones Characters Made New Year's Resolutions

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So, I'm not really a fan of New Year's resolutions. To me, it just seems sort of silly because I never stick to them. However, I do think your New Years resolutions say something about you. So, I got to thinking, if Game of Thrones characters made New Year's resolutions, what would they be? Daenerys Targaryen: Learn how to train my dragons. Jon Snow: Figure out this whole Lord of Light resurrection thing. ( Ghost: Munch. Crunch. Lick. Run.) Arya Stark: Cersei Lannister, Walder Frey, Ilyn Payne, Thoros of Myr, Beric Dondarrion, the Red Woman... Looks like he needs a hand. Tyrion Lannister: 1) Get wine. 2) Drink wine. 3) Join Daenerys Targaryen. 4) Meet a dragon. 5) Get wine. 6) Drink wine. Jaime Lannister:  Invest in prosthetics research. Cersei Lanninster: 1) Kill my brother Tyrion. 2) Take vengeance. 3) Drink some wine. 4) Laugh manically. Sansa Stark: 1) Get lemons. 2) Make lemon cakes. 3) Eat lemon cakes. 4) Repeat. Melisandre: Burn Westeros ...

The Yik Yak Year in Review

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So, I'm basically an old person now, so I just discovered Yik Yak this past year. Yik Yak, in case you're old like me and don't know, is basically an anonymous form of Twitter which shows you posts from people who are geographically near you. That means that the quality of the Yaks are really dependent on where you live; however, since I live in a college town, my Yik Yak is made of win. So, without further ado, I give you the Yik Yak year in review: When You're A Productive & Valuable Employee: Could We Stop Re-Making Movies Already? When the Struggle is Too Real for Spelling: When You Celebrate Father's Day with Yik Yak: When Game of Thrones Betrays You...Again: When You Thank Yik Yak for Your Freedom: When Worlds Collide: The Yummy Yak: The Obligatory Squirrel Yak: The Obligatory "All Weather Sucks" Yak: Ce...