I Fail at Wrapping Gifts
In the spirit of the Christmas season, I decided to do a holiday themed blog.
I don't know what it is about wrapping paper and scissors and tape, but something does not compute. You'd think wrapping Christmas gifts would be easy. All you have to do is take a big piece of paper, wrap it around your object (perhaps a book or a nice penguin), and then tape it in place. That sounds simple, right? It should be, but somehow -- someway -- I always manage to screw it up.
I am one of the worst Christmas gift wrappers you will ever meet.
I'm not even talking about wrapping weird shapes; perfectly normal rectangles are completely beyond my capabilities. The other day I was trying to wrap a book. After twenty minutes, I was just like "well, I give up." I started off my cutting a piece of paper that was too small, then I cut a piece of paper that was too big. Of course, then I was like "what do I do with all this extra paper at the ends?"
No matter what I do, I always end up with too much paper at the ends. And one end always has more paper than the other. Then, I have to try to figure out how to get all that extra paper to fold into something neat that is not just a glob of paper attached to the end of the gift. Of course, that always fails epically. It's always like, "why is this package so lumpy?"
Wrapping a present is like math or something. It's like you have to measure and calculate angles or something. And, if there's one thing I hate, it's math. I don't want to have to wrap gifts with a calculator and a ruler on hand.
Take the math out of Christmas!
Just sayin'
I don't know what it is about wrapping paper and scissors and tape, but something does not compute. You'd think wrapping Christmas gifts would be easy. All you have to do is take a big piece of paper, wrap it around your object (perhaps a book or a nice penguin), and then tape it in place. That sounds simple, right? It should be, but somehow -- someway -- I always manage to screw it up.
I am one of the worst Christmas gift wrappers you will ever meet.
I'm not even talking about wrapping weird shapes; perfectly normal rectangles are completely beyond my capabilities. The other day I was trying to wrap a book. After twenty minutes, I was just like "well, I give up." I started off my cutting a piece of paper that was too small, then I cut a piece of paper that was too big. Of course, then I was like "what do I do with all this extra paper at the ends?"
No matter what I do, I always end up with too much paper at the ends. And one end always has more paper than the other. Then, I have to try to figure out how to get all that extra paper to fold into something neat that is not just a glob of paper attached to the end of the gift. Of course, that always fails epically. It's always like, "why is this package so lumpy?"
Wrapping a present is like math or something. It's like you have to measure and calculate angles or something. And, if there's one thing I hate, it's math. I don't want to have to wrap gifts with a calculator and a ruler on hand.
Take the math out of Christmas!
Just sayin'
This is why English majors shouldn't wrap presents!
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