Just Sayin'

With 2015 drawing to a close, I've decided to start a new beauty blog called The Loch Ness Monster Likes Makeup Too (because, you know, that's a true fact). As anyone who reads my blog knows, I'm a big fan of things like nail polish and makeup (see exhibit A , exhibit B , and exhibit C ). So, whenever I find myself talking about one particular subject a lot on my blog, I like to start a new blog about that particular subject. In this case, I'm starting this blog because, shockingly, not everyone is as obsessed with makeup as I am. So, if you love makeup as much as I do, you can join me at The Loch Ness Monster Likes Makeup Too , and, if you don't, hopefully you'll continue to follow me here on this blog. I've linked to my new blog at the top of the page or, you can view it here . So, come join me (and the Loch Ness monster) and learn about makeup. Just sayin'

This is completely irrelevant and nonsensical, but it needs to be said: Christmas cookies are just regular cookies with green dye. I feel that there needs to be a public service announcement about this. A couple of days ago, I set out to make some Christmas cookies -- no big deal right? Well! I was shocked and chagrined to find that Christmas cookies are made out of sugar, flour, and eggs just like regular cookies. There was no Christmas spirit in the recipe! There were no jingle bells! There was no tinsel! There wasn't even any reindeer blood (although I don't know if I could get that at Trader Joe's). Christmas cookies are hiding behind a veer of green food dye and festive frosting. I thought that Christmas cookies were full of jolliness and magic. Turns out, I was wrong. You could make Christmas cookies in July and they would be the exact same thing. I feel so betrayed. Just sayin'

As many of you know, I have an unhealthy obsession with cosmetic products, but that's okay because I'm not alone. The Loch Ness Monster also has an unhealthy obsession with cosmetics -- it turns out, it really isn't easy to be green. With that in mind, I thought it would be fun to hear what the Loch Ness Monster has to say about current beauty trends -- Nessie is, after all, the world's foremost underwater makeup artist. Fortunately for all of us, Nessie has taken the time to write out her best beauty tips because, really, who doesn't want to have the Lake Monster look (I hear it's all the rage in Paris). 1) Storage: Storage is the most important part of your cosmetic collection. If you don't store your makeup, it will probably get eaten by a lake shark or something like that (JK, there are no more lake sharks -- I ate them!) I like to keep my makeup in a shallow cave at the bottom of the lake. It's a good place to keep makeup because all of the sludge...

So, in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series, there's this subplot where the mice secretly created planet earth as one big experiment so that they could observe the way human culture developed. I've always been a little skeptical of this idea. I  mean, if mice were really ruling the world, would they be living in floor boards and getting killed by cats? That seems a little far fetched to me. No, I have it figured out, the pandas are our true over lords. You may laugh at this theory. You may say, "but what about the dolphins? Surely the dolphins are smarter than the pandas?" Well, when was the last time you saw a panda get stuck in a tuna net? If you think about it, it's really quite logical. When was the last time you saw a panda lift anything heavier than a piece of bamboo? Just about every panda on the planet has a team of a least three panda keepers and panda vets around them at all times. Pandas don't have to find their own food, clean their own ...