Help! I Think I Have Game of Thrones Disease

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So, a little while ago, I wrote a blog about how annoyed I was with everyone who plays Pokémon Go, and I realized that that wasn't fair. Those people have the Poke Disease, but I have a sickness too. It's called Game of Thrones Disease, and I think it's incurable.

What are the symptoms of Game of Thrones disease, you may ask? Well, they include:
  • An undue interest in Kit Harington's hair
  • Referring to betraying someone as "red wedding-ing" them or being "red wedding-ed"
  • Being able to speak authoritatively on the finer points of Dothraki linguistics
  • Saying "the night is dark and full of terrors" when someone tells you to sleep well
  • Knowing the house words and sigils of every family mentioned in the Song of Ice and Fire (House Mormont's sigil is a black bear in a green wood; their words are "Here We Stand," in case you were wondering)
  • Having a strong opinion on the love life of Brienne of Tarth
If you display two or more of these symptoms, you may have Game of Thrones disease. I know that this might come as a shock to you. You may say to yourself "but, I watch other TV shows too; I'm not obsessed." You may think, "I thought Game of Thrones disease was something that only happened to people who read the books." Well, if you thought that, you'd be wrong. Game of Thrones disease can happen to anyone at any time. You might think that you just watch the episodes casually, then, all of the sudden, you're wondering if Brienne should be with Jaime or Tormund. I'm not a doctor or anything, but I can diagnose Game of Thrones disease. 

What happens if you have Game of Thrones disease, you might ask. Well, as someone who is currently suffering from that malady, I can tell you that you might experience some or all of the following side effects:
  • The inability to think or talk about anything that isn't related to Game of Thrones
  • Constantly boring everyone around you by talking about Game of Thrones
  • Owning an absurd amount of Game of Thrones t-shirts
  • Writing obnoxious blog posts about the "Targaryen restoration" 
  • Spending an inordinate amount of time interpreting the House of the Undying prophecies 
  • Checking local animal shelters for direwolves that are up for adoption 
Currently, this disease is incurable. You shouldn't despair though, just get yourself a subscription to HBO Now, adopt a direwolf, accept the inevitable, and embrace your infliction. That's what I'm doing. My pet direwolf -- who I name Pink Wind in honor of Grey Wind, #RIPGreyWind -- is currently sitting at my feet. 

This has been cogent medical advice from someone who has too much time on their hands and an unhealthy obsession with Game of Thrones. 

Just sayin' 

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