So, I don't know why, but people keep writing songs about me. Now, I understand that I'm just a fantastic person that everyone wants to talk about, but seriously Green Day. One of the first lines of Green Day's song Maria is "someone shot the president and no one knows where Maria went". Now, Green Day, that sends the wrong message.
I mean, I don't care that Green Day wants to make me the inspiration for the first song on their International Superhits Album; that means nothing to me (just a little sarcasm there). But, seriously, couldn't it have been a more positive song? And this is not just a Green Day problem; The Sound of Music being made into a movie was probably the worst thing that could ever have happened to me because now everyone wants to figure out how to solve a problem like Maria.
Excuse you. Who said I was a problem?
All I'm saying is that everyone thinks its really great to be the Puerto Rican Juliet in West Side Story but everyone forgets how horribly drab her clothes are and, of course, that her boyfriend dies in the end. That is not a flattering portrayal. So, its okay if you want to write a song about me, just don't pull a Take a Letter Maria and make me into a gold digger who gets with her boss like three seconds after he leaves his wife. That, my friends, is how we Marias get a bad rap. Now, if you want to write a song about me, let me suggest you take Ricky Martin's Maria or Santana's Maria Maria as a model because let me just say, those Latins know how to write a song about a girl.
Enrique Iglesias can write a song about me anytime he wants.
Those Eyebrows Though As you know, I have strong opinions about eyebrows . I also have strong opinons about Game of Thrones. Usually, those two things do not intersect, but today they do. Let's not dance around the issue here: Daenerys Targaryen has weird eyebrows. (If you don't watch Game of Thrones , this probably is total nonsense to you. In case you're interested, Daenerys Targaryen is one of the show's main characters. She is descended from a royal line that originated in Valyria. In the A Song of Ice and Fire books , Valyrians have very distinctive physical features: white hair and purple eyes. In the show, Daenerys (aka Dany) has white hair (a wig) but her eyebrows are dark brown -- mostly because the actress' natural hair is dark brown.) Anyway, if you watch Game of Thrones at all you know that Dany looks great in almost every episode and she's completely gorgeous and beautiful. However, the weirdness of her eyebrows is unavoidable. I know it,...
A few months ago, I wrote a blog ranking Disney princesses best to worst (actually worst to best, but who pays attention to details like that), so, in the grand tradition of criticizing/ranking/generalized Disney love, I've decided to embark on a road where few dare to tread: ranking Disney princess outfits, and yes, that means ball gowns . Lots and lots of ball gowns. So here we go, Disney outfits from best to worst (actually, it's going to be worst to best, but we already talked about that). Ariel's Seashell Bikini Let's be clear here, Ariel doesn't actually wear clothes. She wears a sea shell bikini. Last time I checked, sea shells were not a valid form of clothing, they're organic calcium by products produced by snails and oysters that need tiny little houses. That's not clothes; we're not in a Lady Gaga music video here. Ariel does redeem herself later in the movie, but we'll get to that later. Ariel's Canvas Toga This is no...
I don't know about you, but I've been reading (and by reading, I mean listening because I am all about Audiobooks) a lot more since the COVID-19 pandemic began. I have a lot more down time and a lot more time at home, so reading is a good activity to pass the time. Anyway, I love a good viking novel. I've been interested in history since I was a kid, and I've always been fascinated by the vikings. There's something about the stories of dragon ships and adventures on the sea that capture the imagination. And, I'm certainly not the only person who thinks that way because there are a lot of books about vikings on the market. Of course, there are plenty of non-fiction books out there, and I've read (or listened to; I love audiobooks) to a couple of them, but novels about vikings seem to be much more popular. That being said, not all novels are equal. Personally, I prefer viking novels that encompass the perfect amount of adventure, drama, and (sometimes) ro...
So, I've been required to read Frankenstein twice, once in college and once in high school, so I know that the book raises a lot of questions and themes, like the nature and importance of beauty and appearance in society and literature, what is considered monstrous in popular culture, the dangers of scientific exploration, etc, etc. But, to me, perhaps the most important question the book raises is what happened to Ernest ? In case you are unfamiliar with Frankenstein, let me give you a brief plot summary. Victor Frankenstein, the title character, decides that it's a good idea to build an eight foot tall quasi-man, animal creature while he's away at college. After he brings the creature to life, he has a freak out and runs away. After this, his creature, through a series of convoluted events, ends up killing everyone Victor cares about as revenge for Victor not creating a female creature for the monster. That is, everyone except Ernest. At the beginning of the book, V...
Warning: Spoilers You weren't kidding! So, I just saw the season finale of True Blood 's season 6. SO. MUCH. EMOTION. I don't even know where to start, so much has happened in this season! Infectious diseases? Wolf pack coups? Secret, government research facilities? Prepubescent fairies trying to buy alcohol? I bet that's something you never thought you'd see on TV. But seriously, that's all good stuff, man. Let me start by saying that I went into this season with the lowest of expectations. I mean, the show had been on a steady decline since season 4, but season 5 was an all time low. The authority plot was just all highbrow, beating you over the head with symbolism. Like, by the end of the season, I was like "I don't know who these 'authority' people are, I don't know what's going on, I have no idea what just happened, and I couldn't care less". Now, I'm like "I care so much"! The authority plot bro...
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