Are Chocolate Eggs Cage Free?

So, today I was eating chocolate eggs (because, you know, Easter and stuff) and I had this thought: "chocolate eggs are so delicious that, if chocolate eggs came from chocolate birds, that species would be seriously endangered." That thought made me so sad that I almost stopped eating chocolate eggs. Almost, but not quite.

However, it did make me think. We should seriously be wondering about how ethical chocolate eggs are. Now, I'm not talking about ethics in terms of where the cocoa came from and how much the workers were paid and if the packaging was made from recycled materials. No. I'm talking about how ethical it is to eat chocolate eggs if they come from chocolate birds.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "you eat chicken eggs, right? How is this different?" (Or maybe you were thinking that chocolate eggs aren't real and I'm crazy; I'm not a mind reader). That is true. I do eat chicken eggs. I don't really like chickens though. They're mean, nasty birds. Have you ever seen a chicken up close and personal? Not cute. On the other hand, chocolate birds would be adorable if they existed.

Like, I'm not sure we should be eating chocolate eggs if they come from chocolate birds. Unless they're cage free. I could eat chocolate eggs if they're cage free. Plus, it wouldn't effect the taste at all. I once had a cage free chicken egg at Panera and it tasted just like a cage egg. (Side note, if you can taste the cage in your egg, let me know in the comments.)

But, there's nothing sadder than imagining little chocolate chickens in little chocolate cages being forced to lay little chocolate eggs. No one would ever let the eggs hatch and then the chocolate birds would go extinct! The chocolate eggs would be harvested into oblivion!

That's not the sort of life chocolate birds should be living! Chocolate birds should be flying freely and building chocolate nests in chocolate trees. Then, people could climb the chocolate trees and collect the eggs -- not all the eggs, just enough to allow for a sustainable population of chocolate birds. I mean, that would make chocolate eggs about a billion times more expensive and you would probably only be able to afford to put one or two in your child's Easter basket, but wouldn't it be worth it to have happy chocolate birds flying around?

I feel like we should be taking some sort of action; like, we should start a "save the chocolate birds" campaign or something. It's a bit like when people thought that the bald eagles would go extinct because of DDT, except that this species would be wiped out by small children who like sugar. But, if chocolate eggs were cage free, the chocolate birds would be saved and we could make them our national bird and put them on our money. Or, better yet, we could just have chocolate money (I mean, we're already half way there with chocolate coins).

Or, maybe chocolate eggs don't come from chocolate birds at all. Maybe we've been deceived. Maybe they come from chocolate rabbits (maybe that's why eggs and rabbits are the symbols of Easter -- I finally understand!). But, If that's the case, I'm 100% sure we should be eating chocolate eggs because that's really, really weird. Don't eat rabbit eggs.

Just sayin'