Spoiler: Ser Pounce is the Most Important Character in Game of Thrones

So, the new season of Game of Thrones is coming out fairly soon and, in honor of that, I've decided to share with you my latest Game of Thrones conspiracy theory (which, believe me, is one of many). I recently I read this an article which calculated the most important character in Game of Thrones using math. Based on a bunch of algorithms and equations and a whole bunch of other stuff I don't understand, they concluded that Tyrion Lannister is the most important character in Game of Thrones. That's a neat theory and everything, the only problem is that it's wrong. The most important character in Game of Thrones is clearly Ser Pounce, King Tommen's cat.

Don't get me wrong, I like Tyrion; he's a good character -- he's just not the most important character. Now, I know what you're thinking: Ser Pounce is only in like two scenes in the entire show. I'm aware of  that. This is because the producers are trying to hide him in plain sight, a clear sign that he's an important figure. All the battles and political machinations in the show are just a clever rouse designed to distract the viewer from paying attention to Ser Pounce and his hairballs. And yes, the hairballs are EXTREMELY, extremely important.

It's well known that George R.R. Martin (GRRM) loves to throw all sorts of twists and turns and unexpected things into the books. The Red Wedding is a great example -- no one saw that coming! So, what if the seventh book rolls around and, all of the sudden, Ser Pounce is on the Iron Throne? It could happen.

In fact, if you think about it, it's actually pretty likely. If you read the A Song of Ice and Fire books (ASOIAF), there are cats EVERYWHERE. There are cats all over the Red Keep; we know that Arya spends A Game of Thrones catching every cat in the castle. There's also lots of mentions of cats in Bravos and Arya herself calls herself the Cat of the Canals while she lives in Bravos. So, clearly, GRRM thinks that cats are important.

The Red Keep was full of cats: lazy old cats dozing in the sun, cold-eyed mousers twitching their tails, quick little kittens with claws like needles, ladies’ cats all combed and trusting, ragged shadows prowling the midden heaps.
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Now, get this. In the ASOIAF series, it is revealed that Rhaenys -- Prince Rhaegar's daughter (Prince Rhaegar was Daenerys' brother, if you don't remember) -- owned a black kitten named Balerion (who has his own Wiki page -- be jealous). On the internet, there's a theory that Rhaenys' kitten survived after Rhaenys was killed by The Mountain and is actually an old, black cat that continues to live in the Red Keep:

That's the real king of this castle right there … Older than sin and twice as mean. One time, the king was feasting the queen's father, and that black bastard hopped up on the table and snatched a roast quail right out of Lord Tywin's fingers. Robert laughed so hard he like to burst.
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Now, does the fact that GRRM refers to this cat as the "real king" mean something? Maybe. Might this older cat know Ser Pounce? Definitely. Plus, Ser Pounce is also a black cat, so he might actually be related to Balerion (because, you know, genetics and stuff). So, Ser Pounce is a royal cat. The King of the Cats, if you will. And there are A LOT of cats in Westeros. So, what if Ser Pounce and Balerion have a secret conspiracy to rally all the cats in the Seven Kingdoms and overthrow the human monarchy and make it a kingdoms of cats!  

Now, I know what you're thinking: Ser Pounce has no reason to overthrow the monarchy; he likes Tommen. Maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. Maybe Ser Pounce is a double agent and he's just trying to get close enough to Tommen to smother him while he sleeps or something like that. We know that Balerion the cat holds a grudge against the Lannisters because they killed his original owner, so maybe Ser Pounce holds a grudge too. 

I mean, if we know anything for sure about Game of Thrones, it's to expect the unexpected. A cat taking over the seven kingdoms would certainly be unexpected. But, given the evidence, it's all very possible. Unless, of course, it turns out the GRRM is a dog person. 

Just sayin'