Congratulations, the Ocean Hates You: Reflections on Moby Dick

So, today is Earth Day and, in honor of Earth Day, I have a message to humanity from the ocean: the ocean doesn't like you very much, and it has good reason to feel that way.

I'm currently reading Moby Dick in my English senior seminar class, and, I have to say, I find it to be an extremely annoying book. No, it's not the chapters about blubber. No, it's not the long lists of different types of whales. It's the fact that no one in the book seems to realize that the ocean hates them.

Like, there are chapters after chapters about how Moby Dick the whale is a malicious, evil creature who wants to hurt people, which I find to be crazy because the characters in the book are hunting whales. Let me repeat that, they are hunting whales and they get upset that the whales start hunting them back. Ahab and Ishmael and everyone else on that stupid boat have no leg to stand on! (Well, in Ahab's case, he literally has no leg to stand on). I understand that whales are scary. I don't particularly like whales. But you bring whale attacks on yourself when you go whale hunting.

Like, if you think about it, Moby Dick is kind of a whale avenger. I mean, to other whales, he's probably a whale hero; the other whales probably have Moby Dick action figures or something. He stands up to the whalers; he strikes back. He gets vengeance for all the whales that have been killed. That's not evil. If you were a whale, that would be a perfectly natural thing to do/ want to do.

If you consider it from the whales' perspective, the whalers are an invading army. The whales are just swimming around in the ocean and doing whale things and, all of the sudden, the whalers come along and start attacking whales with harpoons. Like, what is that? It would be like if you -- as a human -- walked into someone's house and punched them in the face. If you do that, you can't be upset when that person punches you back. That's what Moby Dick is doing; he's hitting back for all the other whales.

But, what is really frustrating is that humans don't understand that they're not supposed to be in the ocean. We are land animals; we have no right to be in the water. You can't be angry if you go into the ocean and start attacking ocean animals and then the ocean says, "you know, I've had just about enough of you" and sends Moby Dick to bite your leg off. Plus, what is that name? I think naming a whale Moby Dick is an insult in and of itself. It's almost as bad as Shamu. Why not Seaweed Bob or Clam Shell Harry? What is a Moby Dick??? I don't understand.

This is why humans shouldn't go into the ocean. I mean, sometimes the ocean tolerates us, but it really doesn't like us very much. I think Ahab and the other characters in Moby Dick need to realize that before they cry about the whale being mean to them.  

So, yes, congratulations, the ocean hates you.

Just sayin'