Tips for Success in College (Sort Of)
So, I will be graduating from college one week from today. (Well, I'll be graduating from college provided I don't completely bomb my finals -- fingers crossed). To give some context, I started this blog at approximately the same time I started college, which is completely weird and surreal to think about. Anyway, I would like to say that I've learned some things about life and friendship and what really matters (blah, blah, blah), but I don't think I have. However, I have acquired some useful tips that will help you succeed in college (sort of).
Don't Spend All Your Meal Points on Orange Soda and Pudding: Most colleges and universities have some sort of meal program for undergrad students. Penn State has a meal points system, which allows you to buy food and stuff at all the different dining halls, restaurants, and connivence stores on campus. Now, this is both a good thing and a bad thing. You have lots of options; however, you also have the opportunity to spend all your meal points on orange soda and milkshakes by the time you're halfway through the semester. In case you didn't know, I'm a big fan of Fanta. In any case, although it's very tempting to buy all sorts of fun snacks and drinks, you should probably save some of your points in case you want to eat during the last three weeks of the semester.
Sometimes Eating Chinese Food For Every Meal Isn't A Good Idea: So, if you're like me, you'll only have your university meal plan for the first year of college. After that, you're on your own to find food. Don't despair though, because delivery Chinese food is readily available. Unfortunately, it also makes you feel terrible and its not as cheap as you think it is. While it may seem like a good idea to just buy Chinese food every day instead of cooking, it will give you a terrible stomachache after a day or two and you will soon be completely broke. Like, spending eight dollars on an order of Lo Mein may seem reasonable; but it ceases to be financially responsible if you do it two or three times a week. Ironically, if you run out of food money, you won't have to worry about stomachaches anymore -- just hunger pains.
Always Be Yourself, Unless You Can Be A Dinosaur: Your university will tell you that you must take math classes. Your university will tell you that you must take science classes. These are unfortunate realities of life. (Well, they're unfortunate if you are as uninterested in science and as bad at math as I am). However, if you see a science class about dinosaurs in your university's course catalog, sign up for it without a second thought. See, I know that there are people who do actual science regarding dinosaurs, but when you take an undergraduate, one hundred level class on dinosaurs, it's basically just a slightly more scientific version of The Land Before Time. So, if you're familiar with the adventures of Little Foot and Sarah the Triceratops, you already have this on lock.
Watching Game of Thrones Is Not Studying: I think we've all been in a situation where we take a study break to watch one episode of a TV show and then end up watching two seasons. Unfortunately, however, watching Game of Thrones is not studying and your professor will not give you an extension on your paper if you tell them that you just really, really wanted to find out what happened after the Red Wedding scene. (Spoiler alert: more blood, more gore, and more screaming).
If You Go to Bed at 2AM and Wake Up at 6AM, You Will Not Be Fine: This is a mistake I have made many times and will continue to make. You may think that you can stay up until one or two o'clock in the morning and then wake up at six the next day and be ready to function, but you will be wrong. You will not be fine. You will suffer profoundly. Do you know what's worse than waking up for an 8AM class after three or four hours of sleep? Nothing. That being said, sometimes having fun is worth it. Just kidding, I had fun once, it was awful.
The Printer Will Always Jam: This is just general advice for life. If you really, really need to print something important -- like a term paper that's worth thirty percent of your grade -- the printer will jam. Do not be deceived; the printer knows that you are in a life or grade situation. The printer is trying to sabotage you. The printer is out to get you.
Don't let the printer win, always have a printer back up plan.
Just sayin'
Don't Spend All Your Meal Points on Orange Soda and Pudding: Most colleges and universities have some sort of meal program for undergrad students. Penn State has a meal points system, which allows you to buy food and stuff at all the different dining halls, restaurants, and connivence stores on campus. Now, this is both a good thing and a bad thing. You have lots of options; however, you also have the opportunity to spend all your meal points on orange soda and milkshakes by the time you're halfway through the semester. In case you didn't know, I'm a big fan of Fanta. In any case, although it's very tempting to buy all sorts of fun snacks and drinks, you should probably save some of your points in case you want to eat during the last three weeks of the semester.
Sometimes Eating Chinese Food For Every Meal Isn't A Good Idea: So, if you're like me, you'll only have your university meal plan for the first year of college. After that, you're on your own to find food. Don't despair though, because delivery Chinese food is readily available. Unfortunately, it also makes you feel terrible and its not as cheap as you think it is. While it may seem like a good idea to just buy Chinese food every day instead of cooking, it will give you a terrible stomachache after a day or two and you will soon be completely broke. Like, spending eight dollars on an order of Lo Mein may seem reasonable; but it ceases to be financially responsible if you do it two or three times a week. Ironically, if you run out of food money, you won't have to worry about stomachaches anymore -- just hunger pains.
Always Be Yourself, Unless You Can Be A Dinosaur: Your university will tell you that you must take math classes. Your university will tell you that you must take science classes. These are unfortunate realities of life. (Well, they're unfortunate if you are as uninterested in science and as bad at math as I am). However, if you see a science class about dinosaurs in your university's course catalog, sign up for it without a second thought. See, I know that there are people who do actual science regarding dinosaurs, but when you take an undergraduate, one hundred level class on dinosaurs, it's basically just a slightly more scientific version of The Land Before Time. So, if you're familiar with the adventures of Little Foot and Sarah the Triceratops, you already have this on lock.
Watching Game of Thrones Is Not Studying: I think we've all been in a situation where we take a study break to watch one episode of a TV show and then end up watching two seasons. Unfortunately, however, watching Game of Thrones is not studying and your professor will not give you an extension on your paper if you tell them that you just really, really wanted to find out what happened after the Red Wedding scene. (Spoiler alert: more blood, more gore, and more screaming).
If You Go to Bed at 2AM and Wake Up at 6AM, You Will Not Be Fine: This is a mistake I have made many times and will continue to make. You may think that you can stay up until one or two o'clock in the morning and then wake up at six the next day and be ready to function, but you will be wrong. You will not be fine. You will suffer profoundly. Do you know what's worse than waking up for an 8AM class after three or four hours of sleep? Nothing. That being said, sometimes having fun is worth it. Just kidding, I had fun once, it was awful.
The Printer Will Always Jam: This is just general advice for life. If you really, really need to print something important -- like a term paper that's worth thirty percent of your grade -- the printer will jam. Do not be deceived; the printer knows that you are in a life or grade situation. The printer is trying to sabotage you. The printer is out to get you.
Don't let the printer win, always have a printer back up plan.
Just sayin'
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