Just Sayin'

So, I have this theory that literary villains always have the best hair. It seems to me that evil emits this low grade, humidity sapping energy that keeps hair from frizzing. A I think the Harry Potter films prove this. It's like, frizz is to conscientious to go running around with people like Voldemort. Actually, hair as a species is too conscientious to go running around with Voldemort which is why he doesn't have any. Think about it, in the books Harry is introduced as having hair that never lies flat. You see, Harry's hair is standing up straight with righteousness . (In the movies it's a different story because, while his hair looks like that for like the first 4-ish movies, after that, it gets weird and flat and it sort of looks like he has a bowl cut. Which, is bad hair in it's own, special way). Hermione is the same way. I mean, her hair is so frizzy that I think it's combined width is thicker than her waist. Her hair was so puffy because it was f...

So, apparently someone has taken it upon themselves to make sure that infants everywhere have access to the great rock music of the 20th century. The other day I was on the iTunes store looking at the new I'm With You singles by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and, under the album section, there was something called Red Hot Chili Peppers for Babies .  Naturally, I greeted this revelation with a mixture of skepticism and curiosity. Like, don't get me wrong, I like the Red Hot Chili Peppers as much as the next person, actually, probably more than the next person, but it's not the sort of music I would play for a baby. Eventually, I got around to listening to it, however, and I have to say that it's really good. Basically, the group, which is called Sweet Little Band, just made sort of melodic, instrumental versions of some of the Red Hot Chili Pepper's hit songs. I mean, if I had kids, I would have bought the album for them. Who knew that it was possible to make a child ...

I adore The Avengers as much as the next person, but one member of the Avenger team who has been bothering me for a while is Thor. Like, don't get me wrong, I have full appreciation of Chris Hemsworth and all his beauty, but, and I hate to break it to the world, Thor is not a superhero . In case you weren't aware, Thor is actually a mythical deity in ancient, Norse culture. Following in the tradition of Indo-European religions, Thor is a storm god (like Zeus), associated with thunder, lightning, and his famous hammer, Mjollnir. So, understandably, he makes a good superhero. I'm all for the appreciation of world mythology, of course, and I've been trying to read more mythology myself, but I'm sort of annoyed with Marvel for co-opting Thor.  Like, it's the same thing as when Disney came out with Hercules and everyone was complaining that they the original, Greek mythology didn't match up. It's the same thing with Norse mythology, everyone's like...

Warning: Spoilers   You weren't kidding! So, I just saw the season finale of True Blood 's season 6. SO. MUCH. EMOTION. I don't even know where to start, so much has happened in this season! Infectious diseases? Wolf pack coups? Secret, government research facilities? Prepubescent fairies trying to buy alcohol? I bet that's something you never thought you'd see on TV. But seriously, that's all good stuff, man. Let me start by saying that I went into this season with the lowest of expectations. I mean, the show had been on a steady decline since season 4, but season 5 was an all time low. The authority plot was just all highbrow, beating you over the head with symbolism. Like, by the end of the season, I was like "I don't know who these 'authority' people are, I don't know what's going on, I have no idea what just happened, and I couldn't care less". Now, I'm like "I care so much"! The authority plot bro...

Apparently, I am on a personal mission to put as many things on my key chain as possible. I'm not quite sure how it started; I used to be one of those people had like two keys on their key ring. Now, my key ring is quite possibly bigger than my head (okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration). I think my problem was that I kept forgetting my keys or locking them into things, so I just started making them as unforgettable and bulky and impossible to ignore as possible. I've been quite successful thus far. For a while, I tried to acquire as many keys as possible. However, I sort of ran into a wall with this because after house keys, car keys, and work keys, you sort of run out of things to acquire keys to. And, for some reason, other people are often very reluctant to give you their keys so that you can have more things on your key ring. After that, I tried getting fun key chains, but that sort of ends when you realize that those two words are sort of oxymoronic. I did howev...

I really hate talking on the telephone. As a member of the 'millennial generation', I am far more comfortable chatting people on Facebook and Gmail, texting, and emailing, than I am talking to people on the telephone. I blame this on the fact that, really, who talks on the telephone anymore? The only people who actually 'call' me are my parents. I've taken a brief survey of my other 'millennial' friends and discovered that I am not alone in this. Millennials, despite the fact that a lot of us used telephones in our youth, really dislike calling people. I mean, I have no objection to face time and audio text messages, but an actual phone conversation ? That's barbaric! Fortunately for Millennials, use of the telephone is pretty limited these days. Unfortunately, there are still some situations in which it is required, like making dentist appointments, talking to customer service, and, sometimes, doing phone interviews for jobs. That last one is the wor...

So, the other day I was on Facebook and I saw this article from Entertainment Weekly, in which an artist did drawings of the cast of Game of Thrones in 80s and 90s clothes. Needless to say, I was quite entertained. Anyway, it got me thinking, what sort of lives would the Game of Thrones characters live if they existed in the real, modern world? I think it would be something like Superman's bizarro world. Everything would be the same except their would be Starks and Targaryens walking around and Voldemort would have a nose.   That is the parallel universe I want to live in. I mean, can you imagine a world where Tyrion Lannister was an actual person ? I think he would be either the Secretary of State or the benevolent dictator of a small country. Modern Day Tyrion The rest of the Lannister's though...I don't think they would be so successful . Like, being all murderous and bloodthirsty is okay when you live in a medieval world where you're running the show, but ...

"Now is the winter of our discontent/ made glorious summer by this son of York."  So, lately I've thinking a lot about Richard III. Because, apparently, I have nothing more relevant to my own time period to be concerned about. As some of friends can attest to, I am legitimately upset about the malignant of Richard III. Ever since they found his skeleton, which you can read about here if you weren't aware of that, I've been reconsidering my view of the War of the Roses. You see, I am the sort of person who takes Shakespeare quite literally. As an English major, I am not supposed to question Shakespeare; I mean, that's literary sacrilege! In fact, about a year ago, I wrote a blog about how Richard III is my favorite literary villain. While that is still true, the key word there is literary , not real life. What really struck me about 'the king in the parking lot', as they've been calling him, is that the skeleton of Richard III had no physical d...

Before  So, today my friend and I decided to paint a book shelf that we're planning to use in our apartment. Naturally, we decided to paint it pink, because whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed. Well, long story short, fifty five dollars, five hours, and two pink knees later, we found out that you can't paint furniture with spray paint. While I understand that this would be totally obvious to most people, clearly, it's not obvious to me. Everyone was like, 'you have to use real paint and primer and rollers and little brushes to paint a book shelf or it will EXPLODE' (I may be exaggerating a little bit), and I was like 'but that sounds so expensive and complicated...I'm just going to use spray paint'. In my defense, my roommate and I did go to Lowes and ask the lady at the paint counter what we should use to paint the bookshelf, and she was all like 'well, if it's not very big, you could probably use spray paint'. ...

So, I have a friend, who shall remain nameless for her own protection, who, shocking as it may be, does not watch Game of Thrones or read A Song of Ice or Fire . Try to contain your horror and dismay. So, for that person, who, once again, shall remain nameless, I present to you ten reasons why you should watch/read Game of Thrones. 1) Great hair styles. Like, Jaime Lannister's hair literally stands up by it's self. Not to mention that amazing-ness that is Dany Targaryen's beautiful hair. 2) Dragons. Everyone likes dragons. Don't act like you don't like dragons; you know that you do. They're giant, fire breathing lizards of death and pain, what's not to like. 3) Sean Bean is in the show and he dies in the show. You know that, if Sean Bean chooses a movie/show to die in that it must be good. He only picks the very best shows to die in. 4) Jenn Marbles likes it. That's right, I'm pulling out the celebrity card; if Jenna Marbles watches it, obvi...

So, an Ulta store just opened in my town. For those of you who don't know, Ulta is a store that sells things like fragrances, make up, hair products, and other stuff like that, and the appearance of an Ulta in my town may well be the worst thing to happen in my entire life. As you may know from my other blogs, I have quite the makeup addiction. Like, in the last three days, I have been to Ulta three times. That's not good. It's not as if I really need makeup either. I just like to go and look at the nail polish racks and try to pick out colors that I don't already have. Let me tell you, when you already have 36 bottles of nail polish at home, that's not easy. Some how, however, I accomplished it. I now have 41. Not to mention the eye pencils. If you read my eyeshadow blog , you know that I have a real problem with eye shadow. So, this time, I vowed to myself that I was not going to buy any eyeshadow (which, regardless, didn't actually work because at the ...

So, I've been to Dairy Queen once this week. For most people, that would be perfectly normal, but for me that is like completely ridiculous. I have a confession to make: I am a Dairy Queen addict. I'm not sure how it all started. I didn't really grow up in a fast food family, so in general, I don't like fast food restaurants, but, for some reason, Dairy Queen has become the place in my friend group. Like, not just a place we go every now and then. We go to Dairy Queen like 3 or 5 times a week. It's an actual problem for me. Like, if I tell my parents I'm going out, they're like 'oh, are you going to Dairy Queen?'. And I'm like 'no...maybe...yes'. It's embarrassing! It's not even that I want the ice cream. There's just no where else to go. It's like 'well we could go bowling, but that's too expensive' or 'we could go to the movies but that's expensive'. Apparently, there's no where better ...