Share a Coke with WHO

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So, I like Coca-Cola as much as the next person (#College=Caffeine), but I'm really annoyed with their new marketing campaign, Share a Coke.

I first heard about this campaign from my roommate who texted me a picture a Coke bottle that was all "Share a Coke with Angela". My roommate was all "who is Angela and why does she want to share my Coke" and I was like "dude, Angela is the queen of Coca-Cola, didn't you know?" and she was like "really?" and I was like "no". WHO IS ANGELA? I still don't get it. If you're buying a single serving size bottle of Coke, obviously you don't want to share.

Angela is just going to have to buy her own Coke. I don't have time to go around to every Angela in the world handing out soft drinks, even if she is the Queen of Coke. 

Since then, I have learned that this 'let's put random names on Coke bottles' thing is actually an elaborate ruse to get people to buy more soda. It isn't working on me. I hate it. Every time I go to buy a Coke, I look at all the bottles and I'm like "I don't want to share a Coke with any of these people"!

It doesn't help that I am never going to find my name on ANY bottle of Coke. Like, today I was at the convience store and I saw a bottle that said "Share a Coke with Linds". In Linds a name? Is it short for Lindsay? Is this Lindsay Lohan's Coke? And, if so, why is it here? Who is Linds and why do they get a Coke and I don't. Seriously, I share a name with MILLIONS of people and I'm never going to find my name on a bottle of soda? No offense to anyone out there, but Linds is NOT A NAME!

And don't even get me started on all the people on Facebook who are all like "I found my name on a Coke bottle, I guess I'm a celebrity" and I'm like, "but actually, your name is Steve - there a hundred billion people with the same name; you don't see Daniel Radcliffe freaking out because I bought a Coke with the name Daniel on it the other day". Then, all of the sudden you can't buy a Coke with the name Steve on it.
Share a Coke: True Blood Edition

Even if you can find a real, every day name on your Coke bottle, it's always something you have a bad association with (like Steve). Like, the other day, I saw a bottle that said "Share a Coke with Rob", and I was like "oh no, it's the Red Wedding all over again". I couldn't handle it. 

So now, every time I want to drink a Coke, I have to go through the entire drink cooler to find a normal, acceptable name to drink. Believe me, I'm not gonna share a Coke with Linds. Today, I was lucky and I was able to find THREE, count them three, normal names that I don't have negative associations with. I give you: Share a Coke - the True Blood edition. Yes, I could share a Coke with Eric Northman, but as for everyone else, no, I won't be sharing a Coke with you.

Just sayin'

Comments

  1. KiraJuly 21, 2014 at 9:58 AM

    I still have no idea who Angela is. #notsharingmycoke

    ReplyDelete
  2. Matt MaldreJuly 24, 2014 at 10:09 AM

    I got a Coca-Cola that said "Share a Coke with Linds" I thought Linds was a disease.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousAugust 15, 2014 at 3:51 PM

    s is right next to a on the keyboard.. I wonder if they meant Linda and it was a huge typo.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 29, 2014 at 5:53 PM

    haha I think they could not decide whether to go with Lindsey or Lindsay, as both spellings are equally common. So they decided to go with Linds as to not offend either.

    ReplyDelete

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