Disney Outfits from Best to Worst
A few months ago, I wrote a blog ranking Disney princesses best to worst (actually worst to best, but who pays attention to details like that), so, in the grand tradition of criticizing/ranking/generalized Disney love, I've decided to embark on a road where few dare to tread: ranking Disney princess outfits, and yes, that means ball gowns. Lots and lots of ball gowns.
So here we go, Disney outfits from best to worst (actually, it's going to be worst to best, but we already talked about that).
Ariel's Seashell Bikini
Let's be clear here, Ariel doesn't actually wear clothes. She wears a sea shell bikini. Last time I checked, sea shells were not a valid form of clothing, they're organic calcium by products produced by snails and oysters that need tiny little houses. That's not clothes; we're not in a Lady Gaga music video here. Ariel does redeem herself later in the movie, but we'll get to that later.
Ariel's Canvas Toga
This is not a look, it just isn't. She literally wrapped herself in beach trash. Why can't Ariel wear clothes?
Everything Jasmine Ever Wore
Your harem pants look comfy and all, Jasmine, I just can't get behind the rest of your outfit. For starters, your top is way too reveling for a children's movie, not to mention completely impractical for every day life. I have the same problem with your shoes, they're cute and comfy looking and everything, but if anyone tried to walk more than three steps in those slippers, they would fall to bits! Not to mention that your jewelry is way too big and heavy for your impossibly tiny body. In real life, if someone wore those earrings, their ear lobes would be hanging down to their shoulders. Not to mention that beggar disguise; it was literally the color of poop. Not a good look.
Mulan's Man Ensemble
That armor. Those earth tones. Ugh. Mulan may be one of the toughest princesses around, but she has some of the worst clothes.
Cinderella Servant Chic
This is just very drab and boring. At least she's wearing sensible shoes (take note, Jasmine).
Ariel's Wedding Gown
The 80s-ness of this dress is cringe worthy. I would have ranked this lower, but the sleeves remind me of marshmallows and I like marshmallows.
Pocahontas's Deer Skin
Leather is always classy, but I just think this outfit has some drawbacks. First of all, the one shoulder look is fine and good for fashion magazines, but it's not really practical for Pocahontas's active lifestyle. Also, it's way too short. Do you know what happens if you go running through the forest in a dress that short? You get Lyme disease, that's what! Although I do appreciate that she's defiantly the only Disney princess to have a tattoo. And her necklace is gorgeous!
Rapunzel's Purple Monstrosity
I mean, this is cute and everything and the cut and the hemline make it very practical, but I can't get behind the clashing patterns and the color inconsistencies. I also think Rapunzel should wear shoes. She's going to step on a crown and get tetanus or something. Do they have tetanus in Disney films?
Aurora's Forest Frock
I could do without the earth tones, but I understand that Aurora is in hiding, so concessions must be made. I do appreciate the introduction of the three quarters sleeve to the world of animated women.
Cinderella's Wedding Gown
Basic + Boring = Snore
Snow White's Everything Dress
Of all the classic Disney characters, Snow White really got the short end of the stick when it came to getting cute clothes. That collar? Those sleeves? I'm sorry but I have a really hard time getting behind puffy sleeves. And those high heels aren't doing her any favors in the FOREST.
Megara's Toga
Okay so Meg isn't technically a princess, but she's married to a demi-god, so we're going to count her anyway. Besides, she can really wear a toga. The outfit is a little plain and unimaginative, and it definitely wouldn't work on anyone else, but Meg pulls it out stunningly. I didn't know you could get pink dresses in ancient Greece; you learn something new every day.
Ariel's Pepto Pink Thing
First of all, this clashes horribly with her hair. Second of all, the sleeves. What is Disney's thing with puffy sleeves?
Maid Marian's Pink Dress
This dress is nothing special, and, aside from the horrific headgear and the dreadful clash with her fur, there's nothing really to say about it. When will Disney learn that red and pink do not go together!
Belle's Blue Dress
I've got no complaints about this dress, it's just sort of boring. Come on Belle, you're French, can't you come up with something a little more couture?
Ariel's Blue Dress
This is the cute version of Belle's dress. Not to mention, that giant hair bow. You rock that bow, Ariel!
Ariel's Sequence Spangles
You know, for when all the Disney princesses show up at your high school prom.
Tinker Bell's Wardrobe
I've always been a fan of Tinker Bell's cute little green dress. Sure, it's very short and a little revealing, but she's a fairy, so normal wardrobe restrictions don't count in her case. Besides, she has to wear something backless so that she doesn't crush her wings! Also, the slippers with the little pom poms? Where can I buy those in adult sizes?
Belle's Yellow Gown
I know that this dress is classic and everything, but every time I see, I'm just like 'yellow is not Belle's color'. That being said, it's a gorgeous design and it would be great in another color. I do appreciate the above the elbow gloves though. Keeping it classy!
Tiana's Ball Gown
Points to Tiana for having the most 'theme-y' ball gown ever. The whole frog/lily pad motif is really very cool. Also, I dig that crown.
Aurora's Blue Dress
Not gonna lie, not as good as the pink.
Aurora's Pink Dress
Aurora, you're so classic. This dress is just great; the lines are simple and there aren't any frills, which is nice. And the pleats! So. Many. Pleats.
Cinderella's Ball Gown
The sparkles. The magic. The glass slippers. Oh the glass slippers. That's how Disney gets it done!
Anna's Green Velvet
There are tons of beautiful clothes in Frozen, but out of all of Anna's outfits, I have to say that the green dress is hands down the best. The details in the fabric are AMAZING. They got everything right! The fabric even moves and folds realistically!
Elsa's Ice Dress
Frozen was just a triumph of animation. Every time I watch it, I'm just astounded by all the textures and details worked into the clothes and the hair and the ICE. There is soooo much beautiful ice in this movie, and some of it is on this dress. Basically, this dress is the new standard of awesome. I love all the details in the train (also, kudos to Disney for doing translucent fabric, that's hard. Rock that ice gown, Elsa, rock it hard!
Just sayin'
So here we go, Disney outfits from best to worst (actually, it's going to be worst to best, but we already talked about that).
Ariel's Seashell Bikini
Let's be clear here, Ariel doesn't actually wear clothes. She wears a sea shell bikini. Last time I checked, sea shells were not a valid form of clothing, they're organic calcium by products produced by snails and oysters that need tiny little houses. That's not clothes; we're not in a Lady Gaga music video here. Ariel does redeem herself later in the movie, but we'll get to that later.
Ariel's Canvas Toga
This is not a look, it just isn't. She literally wrapped herself in beach trash. Why can't Ariel wear clothes?
Everything Jasmine Ever Wore
Your harem pants look comfy and all, Jasmine, I just can't get behind the rest of your outfit. For starters, your top is way too reveling for a children's movie, not to mention completely impractical for every day life. I have the same problem with your shoes, they're cute and comfy looking and everything, but if anyone tried to walk more than three steps in those slippers, they would fall to bits! Not to mention that your jewelry is way too big and heavy for your impossibly tiny body. In real life, if someone wore those earrings, their ear lobes would be hanging down to their shoulders. Not to mention that beggar disguise; it was literally the color of poop. Not a good look.
Mulan's Man Ensemble
That armor. Those earth tones. Ugh. Mulan may be one of the toughest princesses around, but she has some of the worst clothes.
Cinderella Servant Chic
This is just very drab and boring. At least she's wearing sensible shoes (take note, Jasmine).
Ariel's Wedding Gown
The 80s-ness of this dress is cringe worthy. I would have ranked this lower, but the sleeves remind me of marshmallows and I like marshmallows.
Pocahontas's Deer Skin
Leather is always classy, but I just think this outfit has some drawbacks. First of all, the one shoulder look is fine and good for fashion magazines, but it's not really practical for Pocahontas's active lifestyle. Also, it's way too short. Do you know what happens if you go running through the forest in a dress that short? You get Lyme disease, that's what! Although I do appreciate that she's defiantly the only Disney princess to have a tattoo. And her necklace is gorgeous!
Rapunzel's Purple Monstrosity
I mean, this is cute and everything and the cut and the hemline make it very practical, but I can't get behind the clashing patterns and the color inconsistencies. I also think Rapunzel should wear shoes. She's going to step on a crown and get tetanus or something. Do they have tetanus in Disney films?
Aurora's Forest Frock
I could do without the earth tones, but I understand that Aurora is in hiding, so concessions must be made. I do appreciate the introduction of the three quarters sleeve to the world of animated women.
Cinderella's Wedding Gown
Basic + Boring = Snore
Snow White's Everything Dress
Of all the classic Disney characters, Snow White really got the short end of the stick when it came to getting cute clothes. That collar? Those sleeves? I'm sorry but I have a really hard time getting behind puffy sleeves. And those high heels aren't doing her any favors in the FOREST.
Megara's Toga
Okay so Meg isn't technically a princess, but she's married to a demi-god, so we're going to count her anyway. Besides, she can really wear a toga. The outfit is a little plain and unimaginative, and it definitely wouldn't work on anyone else, but Meg pulls it out stunningly. I didn't know you could get pink dresses in ancient Greece; you learn something new every day.
Ariel's Pepto Pink Thing
First of all, this clashes horribly with her hair. Second of all, the sleeves. What is Disney's thing with puffy sleeves?
Maid Marian's Pink Dress
This dress is nothing special, and, aside from the horrific headgear and the dreadful clash with her fur, there's nothing really to say about it. When will Disney learn that red and pink do not go together!
Belle's Blue Dress
I've got no complaints about this dress, it's just sort of boring. Come on Belle, you're French, can't you come up with something a little more couture?
Ariel's Blue Dress
This is the cute version of Belle's dress. Not to mention, that giant hair bow. You rock that bow, Ariel!
Ariel's Sequence Spangles
You know, for when all the Disney princesses show up at your high school prom.
Tinker Bell's Wardrobe
I've always been a fan of Tinker Bell's cute little green dress. Sure, it's very short and a little revealing, but she's a fairy, so normal wardrobe restrictions don't count in her case. Besides, she has to wear something backless so that she doesn't crush her wings! Also, the slippers with the little pom poms? Where can I buy those in adult sizes?
Belle's Yellow Gown
I know that this dress is classic and everything, but every time I see, I'm just like 'yellow is not Belle's color'. That being said, it's a gorgeous design and it would be great in another color. I do appreciate the above the elbow gloves though. Keeping it classy!
Tiana's Ball Gown
Points to Tiana for having the most 'theme-y' ball gown ever. The whole frog/lily pad motif is really very cool. Also, I dig that crown.
Aurora's Blue Dress
Not gonna lie, not as good as the pink.
Aurora's Pink Dress
Aurora, you're so classic. This dress is just great; the lines are simple and there aren't any frills, which is nice. And the pleats! So. Many. Pleats.
Cinderella's Ball Gown
The sparkles. The magic. The glass slippers. Oh the glass slippers. That's how Disney gets it done!
Anna's Green Velvet
There are tons of beautiful clothes in Frozen, but out of all of Anna's outfits, I have to say that the green dress is hands down the best. The details in the fabric are AMAZING. They got everything right! The fabric even moves and folds realistically!
Elsa's Ice Dress
Frozen was just a triumph of animation. Every time I watch it, I'm just astounded by all the textures and details worked into the clothes and the hair and the ICE. There is soooo much beautiful ice in this movie, and some of it is on this dress. Basically, this dress is the new standard of awesome. I love all the details in the train (also, kudos to Disney for doing translucent fabric, that's hard. Rock that ice gown, Elsa, rock it hard!
Just sayin'
I do have to agree with you on the pink and red thankfully Disney has a glass/mint green variant for ariel.
ReplyDelete