The Smell of My Life is the Smell of Your Feet
We have a problem in my apartment. And that problem has one smell: the smell of feet. My roommate has the smelliest feet I have ever encountered in my nineteen and a half years of life. This odor, something akin to dried moose vomit, permeates our apartment, clinging to every surface like a noxious nail fungus of doom.
Now, before you think I'm a foot stabbing, horrible, tell-tale roommate, let me just say that my roommate knows that her feet smell. She's just as horrified by it as I am. We have conversations about it all the time. Some of the most serious conversations that take place in our apartment revolve around foot powder and odor eaters and weather or not you can wash sneakers (for the record, I maintain that you can).
It's gotten to the point that, unless it drops below 40 degrees, we leave our window open pretty much all the time. Now, let's just be clear, regardless of what you might think, windy, sunless, rainy 40 degree weather is cold. And in Pennsylvania, the weather stays more or less in 40s until May or June.
I'm suffering.
I mean, the problem isn't even that her feet smell, because I know for a fact that she showers regularly. The problem is that her feet make her shoes smell and her shoes make the apartment smell. It's really the shoes that are the problem. My roommate even tried to spray air freshener into her shoes. It didn't help. If anything, it just made the apartment smell like that rotting meat flower that you can find in the jungles of Borneo.
Really, the air freshener just angered the beast. Don't make the feet angry, you won't like them when they're angry. Some people go out and party during the last week of classes, others stay home and do battle with their roommate's smelly feet.
Just sayin'
Now, before you think I'm a foot stabbing, horrible, tell-tale roommate, let me just say that my roommate knows that her feet smell. She's just as horrified by it as I am. We have conversations about it all the time. Some of the most serious conversations that take place in our apartment revolve around foot powder and odor eaters and weather or not you can wash sneakers (for the record, I maintain that you can).
It's gotten to the point that, unless it drops below 40 degrees, we leave our window open pretty much all the time. Now, let's just be clear, regardless of what you might think, windy, sunless, rainy 40 degree weather is cold. And in Pennsylvania, the weather stays more or less in 40s until May or June.
I'm suffering.
I mean, the problem isn't even that her feet smell, because I know for a fact that she showers regularly. The problem is that her feet make her shoes smell and her shoes make the apartment smell. It's really the shoes that are the problem. My roommate even tried to spray air freshener into her shoes. It didn't help. If anything, it just made the apartment smell like that rotting meat flower that you can find in the jungles of Borneo.
Really, the air freshener just angered the beast. Don't make the feet angry, you won't like them when they're angry. Some people go out and party during the last week of classes, others stay home and do battle with their roommate's smelly feet.
Just sayin'
My feet are the root of all co-habitating problems. :P
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