Just Sayin'

So, a little while ago, I wrote a blog about how annoyed I was with everyone who plays Pokémon Go, and I realized that that wasn't fair. Those people have the Poke Disease, but I have a sickness too. It's called Game of Thrones Disease, and I think it's incurable. What are the symptoms of Game of Thrones disease, you may ask? Well, they include: An undue interest in Kit Harington's hair Referring to betraying someone as "red wedding-ing" them or being "red wedding-ed" Being able to speak authoritatively on the finer points of Dothraki linguistics Saying "the night is dark and full of terrors" when someone tells you to sleep well Knowing the house words and sigils of every family mentioned in the Song of Ice and Fire (House Mormont's sigil is a black bear in a green wood; their words are "Here We Stand," in case you were wondering) Having a strong opinion on the love life of Brienne of Tarth If you display two or mo...

So, a little while ago, I started writing a blog post about matching Game of Thrones characters with Disney characters. I got about half way through, but then I stopped because  it felt a little forced to me (although I might still publish it because I'll compare Game of Thrones to anything). It just didn't seem like the Disney characters really exemplified the Game of Thrones characters; it seems a bit cliched. I mean, I just feel like a lot of people write articles about which Harry Potter houses Game of Thrones characters would be in and what Arya would look like if she was Lilo from Lilo and Stitch (cute, that's what she would look like). Well, that's all well and good, but I just wasn't feeling it. I thought to myself, Disney characters don't really represent the personalities of Game of Thrones characters. You know what represents the personalities of Game of Thrones characters? Jelly beans. Let me explain. I like jelly beans. I think jelly beans...

So, the new season of Game of Thrones is coming out fairly soon and, in honor of that, I've decided to share with you my latest Game of Thrones conspiracy theory (which, believe me, is one of many). I recently I read this an article which calculated the most important character in Game of Thrones using math. Based on a bunch of algorithms and equations and a whole bunch of other stuff I don't understand, they concluded that Tyrion Lannister is the most important character in Game of Thrones . That's a neat theory and everything, the only problem is that it's wrong. The most important character in Game of Thrones is clearly Ser Pounce, King Tommen's cat. Don't get me wrong, I like Tyrion; he's a good character -- he's just not the most important character. Now, I know what you're thinking: Ser Pounce is only in like two scenes in the entire show. I'm aware of  that. This is because the producers are trying to hide him in plain sight, a clea...

So, I'm not really a fan of New Year's resolutions. To me, it just seems sort of silly because I never stick to them. However, I do think your New Years resolutions say something about you. So, I got to thinking, if Game of Thrones characters made New Year's resolutions, what would they be? Daenerys Targaryen: Learn how to train my dragons. Jon Snow: Figure out this whole Lord of Light resurrection thing. ( Ghost: Munch. Crunch. Lick. Run.) Arya Stark: Cersei Lannister, Walder Frey, Ilyn Payne, Thoros of Myr, Beric Dondarrion, the Red Woman... Looks like he needs a hand. Tyrion Lannister: 1) Get wine. 2) Drink wine. 3) Join Daenerys Targaryen. 4) Meet a dragon. 5) Get wine. 6) Drink wine. Jaime Lannister:  Invest in prosthetics research. Cersei Lanninster: 1) Kill my brother Tyrion. 2) Take vengeance. 3) Drink some wine. 4) Laugh manically. Sansa Stark: 1) Get lemons. 2) Make lemon cakes. 3) Eat lemon cakes. 4) Repeat. Melisandre: Burn Westeros ...

So, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a pretty serious internet fashion commentator (translation: I once wrote a blog about Disney outfits; you should read it ). Now, I haven't really done any commentary in a while, but I have an excuse: I was watching Game of Thrones -- enough said. Anyway, now that season five is over, I have nothing to do for ten months except wait for the next season of Game of Thrones and dream about who's going to get the ax this time -- and comment on their clothes. I recently realized that I've commented on pretty much every aspect of Game of Thrones ( I have a whole separate blog about it ), but I've never really talked about the fashion. This seems like a huge oversight to me because Game of Thrones is both a triumph of costuming and a complete fashion failure -- depending on which character you're talking about. Thus I've decided to present you a list of the best dressed in Westeros (from worst to best). The Sand...

So, with father's day this weekend a lot of people are taking to the Internet to share lovely, heart warming stories about their fathers. I think that's great, but, sometimes, those stories can get a little boring after a while (to quote Tolstoy: "happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"). So, instead in honor of father's day, I thought I would offer a tribute to the most disastrous fathers in Game of Thrones . If you're unfamiliar with Game of Thrones , this is a big category because there are a ton of horrible parents on the show. I've managed to narrow it down to ten: 10. Eddard Stark - Ned is arguably one of the best fathers on Game of Thrones . He's generally fair and caring, however, his actions have put his kids in extremely perilous positions. Let's not forget that it was Ned's obsession with honor that caused started the War of Five Kings, which led to his son Robb's death. Furtherm...

Those Eyebrows Though As you know, I have strong opinions about eyebrows . I also have strong opinons about Game of Thrones. Usually, those two things do not intersect, but today they do. Let's not dance around the issue here: Daenerys Targaryen has weird eyebrows. (If you don't watch Game of Thrones , this probably is total nonsense to you. In case you're interested, Daenerys Targaryen is one of the show's main characters. She is descended from a royal line that originated in Valyria. In the A Song of Ice and Fire books , Valyrians have very distinctive physical features: white hair and purple eyes. In the show, Daenerys (aka Dany) has white hair (a wig) but her eyebrows are dark brown -- mostly because the actress' natural hair is dark brown.) Anyway, if you watch Game of Thrones at all you know that Dany looks great in almost every episode and she's completely gorgeous and beautiful. However, the weirdness of her eyebrows is unavoidable. I know it,...

So, after last night's finale of  Game of Thrones , I noticed a ton of awesome Yaks about the episode (because, you know, Yik Yak really has its finger on the pulse of the nation). In honor of the end of season five, I decided to share my favorite Yaks with you (and yes, one or two of them are mine): Some people were concerned for their personal safety: Others faced an existential crisis: One helpful yak-er offered a succinct summary of the past season: Many expressed *some* frustration: Some questioned everything: Others offered helpful tips: Others needed help themselves: While others tried to put things into perspective: Of course, there were the obligatory 'Winter is Coming' jokes: Some consoled themselves with hopes of resurrection:  While others mourned for Jon Snow: Meanwhile, some had kind words for Th...