Just Sayin'

So. Pokémon Go is a thing that happens in the world. I give up. I officially give up. Life as we know it has come to an end. The Pokémon are here. A few days ago, I was at the tutoring center that I work at, just minding my own business and tutoring, when I saw two of the math tutors playing Pokémon Go. They were closing in on a Pokémon, when suddenly it ran away from them or something, and they went tripping over each other to follow it to the other side of the room. And I was just like, "you're at work; what's happening here?" That's when it hit me. I have been consumed by an inexorable tide of Poke Balls floating in a sea of memes, tweets, and GIFS. Translation: I'm getting too old for the Internet. I'm getting too old apps. I've probably said all of that before, but this time I mean it: SAVE ME FROM POKEMON GO!!!!! I don't know about you, but I'm really confused/ horrified by Pokémon Go. One minute, everything was fine and normal then, all ...

So, I'm graduating from college in May and, thus, I have never been less enthusiastic about doing school work. (But, seriously, senior-itis is a real and serious condition that impacts thousands of graduating seniors every year). Consequently, I've been slacking off and watching some TV. As many of you know, Game of Thrones is my absolute favorite TV show. However, true to form, I also watch lots of other, more obscure shows. That being said, I wanted to share with you some of favorite little known TV shows. Fortitude (2015) - I discovered this show on an off chance on Amazon Prime (which, spoiler, is how I discover most TV shows) and devoured the first season in approximately two days. This is a new British drama/thriller/mystery show that takes place in a small town in the arctic circle. It's difficult to describe the plot without giving too much away, but, suffice it to say that a shocking discovery and several grisly murders interrupt life in this small town with un...

Not too long ago, Jenna Marbles made a video about how she's bad at being an adult . I watched that video and I thought: psh, I'm worse at more things than that! I'm horrible at being an adult! I mean, Jenna Marbles has curtains in her house and more than one plate; she's practically the queen of the grownups! I, on the other hand, am very good at not being an adult. First of all, I'm terrible at making phone calls. Jenna Marbles talked about this too, so I think it might be a generational thing. Whenever I make a phone call, I go through a couple of steps: 1) try to convince someone else to make the call, 2) delay making the call as long as possible, 3) spend at least half and hour mentally preparing to make the call, and 4) actually making the call. Consequently, I'm also really bad at answering the phone. I never answer the phone if it's a number I don't know (which means I miss a lot of important calls) and, half the time, if it's a number I kn...

Here's what I want to know: why is it acceptable for people to go on the internet and deny the existence of the Loch Ness Monster and then turn around and say that the plot of Jurassic Park is possible ? As much as I would like a pet triceratops, it seems as though science has pretty successfully disproved the plot of Jurassic Park . (Let's all take a minute to shed a tear for the live-action version of Land Before Time that will never happen). The Loch Ness Monster, however, is totally real. Seriously, raptors that can open doors? That seems a little far fetched, don't you think? The idea of a modern day dinosaur just doesn't have the down-to-earth veracity of a slimy, cold blooded lake monster living in a cold and slimy lake. BTW,  I say slimy, cold blooded lake monster in the most loving way possible. In fact, I'm good friends with Nessie.  May I take a moment to remind you all that Nessie wrote into this very blog seven months ago? Actually, for that matter...

So, lately I've been hearing a lot of hype about Jurassic World . Everyone's like: "You have to see it! You can barely even spot the fake dinosaurs!" Now, I haven't seen Jurassic World , but I don't really need to because I've seen this movie before. Here's how it goes: "We've created dinosaurs, but don't worry, they're completely safe. Timmy, look at the cute little dinosaur! Touch it! Pet it! Ride it! Oh, it bit your finger off? We can fix that! It bit your head off? That might be a problem. The dinosaur is on the loose and killing everyone? Who could have seen that coming?" Me. I could have seen that coming because I saw Jurassic Park , The Lost World , and Jurassic Park III . Don't get me wrong, I like Chris Pratt and I'm sure Jurassic World is a lovely movie with great special effects and awesome theme music, but those other films gave me some clue that a dinosaur theme park was not a good idea. There are two th...

Hi, my name is MC and I own at least fifty bottles of nail polish. True Happiness Why? How? What for? I don't know. All I do know is that if you go into my apartment, you will find a strategically placed photo box full of nail polish. I mean, if you think about it, 50 bottles of nail polish is ridiculous, not just because it's 50 bottles but because nail polish is really weird to begin with. That may sound like an extreme statement, but based on my super accurate statistics that I have just made up, over 99% of females in the US own at least one bottle of nail polish. Some of them don't even know that they own nail polish, but it's there. It's hiding under your bed, in your medicine cabinet, stuffed in the back of your sock drawer, maybe even in a forlorn duffle bag stuffed in our closet somewhere. Even the women who don't like nail polish have nail polish: It's been given to them as gifts, inherited from friends, or, sometimes, it just spontaneously...

You know you're getting old when you get online one day and you're like "what? what is this Vine the kids are using these days? what does it even mean? What is a Reddit? When did Facebook stop being the dominant form of social media?" Like, seriously, there used to be like two ways to interact with people online and now there are like fifty million. It's too much! How many platforms do you need to spew your selfies across the internet. Everytime I post something on Facebook these days, I'm like "yep, officially a dinosaur." I've accepted the fact that I can no longer keep up with the young people and their various Yik Yaks and Tumblrs, but that doesn't you shouldn't keep up! For all of these people out there who are like me, I've put together a list of everything you need to know about the different forms of social media. Consider this your guide to the internet. MySpace: If Justin Timberlake didn't own a significant chunk of...

Recently, I was introduced to the beautiful song/video Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf. I know what you're thinking: Why? How? What? I don't know, but it's quite possibly one of the best things on the Internet. No, scratch that, the BEST thing on the Internet. I mean, when you watch the video, you're like: "Shia LaBeouf isn't that weird, is he? No wait, he actually is." I like Shia LaBeouf as much as the next person; Holes was a great movie -- so was Fury , but you can't deny, he's really, really weird. I showed this video to one of my friends and she was like "what? what is this? I need some context here?" Now, I don't need context for this video, because I have no expectations of Shia LaBeouf except that he continue to be the zebra-of-weirdness that is Shia LaBeouf. However, I understand that other people need context, so I've decided offer an explanation for Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf. So, the first weird thing about th...

I think it's an undisputed fact that I Want You Back by *NSYNC is the best music video that's ever been made, bar none. I mean, it's got zip up t-shirts and arm wiggling, not to mention a sprightly Justin Timberlake and 90s animation; I mean, they don't make music videos like this anymore. How could they? I don't even know who you would go to to coreograph all that fist pumping. But, this piece of cinematographic mastery has a dark side. After a long, intense conversation with my roommate about the history and cultural significance of *NSYNC (what, I'm on break), I came to the realization that boy bands are actually really, really weird. I Want You Back was released in 1996. In 1996, Justin Timberlake, who was the youngest member of *NSYNC, was 15. Chris Kirkpatrick, who was the oldest member of *NSYNC, was 25. Let me just repeat that. Twenty-five. Now, I'm only 20, and the idea of being in a band with a 15 year old is ridiculous to me. Not just ...

No One Appreciates Me! So, the other day I was starring out the window diligently studying in English when I had a thought: I'm really grateful that I live in a society that appreciates Justin Timberlake. Like, the frightening truth is that history is full of cultures and nations that wouldn't have liked JT. I, for one, am EXTREMELY glad that we have progressed as a species. Do you think the Romans would have appreciated SexyBack ? No! They would have been like "um...we're bringing Caesar back." Do you think the vikings would have listened to Suit & Tie ? No! Vikings didn't wear suits! In fact, they were probably pillaging all the people who wore suits and ties. If you turn up in a suit and tie in a viking town, you're liable to get the blood eagle. If you don't know what a blood eagle is, go look it up on Urban Dictionary and then come back here and try to tell me that you're not profoundly grateful that people are now able to wea...

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I didn't have a Snapchat, and I was okay with that. I was like "Snapchat! What's wrong with these young people and their bamboozling picture taking devices! You kids get off my lawn!" Oh, how young I was (note, this was about 10 months ago). I don't actually remember why I got a Snapchat, but I suspect my friends KLMM and MKPJ had something to do with it. They were probably like, "if you get a Snapchat, your life will be full of unicorns and chocolate and everyone will want to share a Coke with you!" And, like a fool whose name was never on any of those Coke bottles, I believed them. If you've read my first blog, you know that the same logic is responsible for the existence of this blog. Anyway, now I have a Snapchat and everything is AWFUL. I'm addicted to Snapchat. I don't want to Snap. I have to! I have a Snapping dependency problem. Half the time, I don't even know what I'm Snapping...

A lot of people in the Game of Thrones-verse seem to be asking this question: who will ride Dany's dragons? There's no doubt that whoever gets a chance to ride one of Dany's dragons is going to be a hugely important to the series. That is, of course, provided that the dragons don't all develop grey scale and die (because George R.R. Martin would do that) and that every dragon has a rider. Although there seems to be some disagreement about this out on the forums, I am of the opinion that each dragon will have only one rider - if they have a rider at all. It's been pretty well established in the books that the bond between dragon and rider is very special; each dragon has only one rider and each rider has only one dragon. Which, of course, means that both Dany and Drogon are already spoken for (which is interesting because Drogon's name comes from Drogo, as in Khal Drogo, Dany's husband; which has profound implications for the intensity of th...

So, I like Coca-Cola as much as the next person (#College=Caffeine), but I'm really annoyed with their new marketing campaign , Share a Coke. I first heard about this campaign from my roommate who texted me a picture a Coke bottle that was all "Share a Coke with Angela". My roommate was all "who is Angela and why does she want to share my Coke" and I was like "dude, Angela is the queen of Coca-Cola, didn't you know?" and she was like "really?" and I was like "no". WHO IS ANGELA? I still don't get it. If you're buying a single serving size bottle of Coke, obviously you don't want to share. Angela is just going to have to buy her own Coke. I don't have time to go around to every Angela in the world handing out soft drinks, even if she is the Queen of Coke.  Since then, I have learned that this 'let's put random names on Coke bottles' thing is actually an elaborate ruse to get people to buy more so...

I have an addiction. It's not some normal addiction, like alcohol or drugs. It's much more serious. I am addicted...to Justin Timberlake. I am a Justin Timberlake junkie.  That may sound pretty tame to you; maybe you think I just like to listen to his songs some times, maybe you think I just really liked *NSYNC as a kid. That's not it; I am actually obsessed with JT. He just has the hair and the face and the eyes and the voice and the feet and he's such a great dancer and he's so funny and he's so nice and he's such a good golfer and he was in Shrek the Third and I loved that movie  and he sings and he smiles and he says romantic things about his wife and he does things (that are recorded on the Justin Timberlake Does Things tumblr) and I saw him live in concert once and it was magical and ALL THE FEELS. I just love him; he's a perfect human being. So that should maybe give you some idea of how I feel.... I can't help it. Some days, I...

So, I have a lot of friends who don't really like the Beatles and this really, really breaks my heart because I just love the Beatles. I mean, I know that this music is like 50 years old, but it's just so good. In fact, the Beatles have actually held up pretty well - there's a reason they still sell Beatles posters at Wal-Mart. (I have one on my wall, even though it makes me feel sort of uncomfortable because I feel like George Harrison is always looking at me). But, I think that the reason some of my friends don't really like the Beatles is because they don't know their music well enough. Let me clarify that I don't know anyone who actively dislikes the Beatles. I'm pretty sure I couldn't tolerate that. I just know a lot of people who are like "eh, the Beatles, they're okay". No! They're not 'ok'! They're brilliant! I think the problem is that when most people think of the Beatles, they think of "I am the Walrus...

Warning: Contains Downton Abbey spoilers. So a few days ago I wrote a blog about my predictions for Season 5 of Downton Abbey and, in the blog I mentioned that I hope Mary marries Lord Gillingham. Since I know that's a controversial opinion for a lot of people, I wanted to take a few moments to justify myself. To start with, A lot of people argue that Mary should marry Charles Blake because he is more like Matthew. That is precisely why I think Mary shouldn't go for Blake. I mean, she has said many times that she wasn't the same person she was when she met Matthew. I think that's true; Matthew certainly changed Mary. So, maybe, what Mary needs at this point in her life is not another Matthew. Mary mellowed a lot when she was with Matthew, she became a lot nicer and more considerate. I'm not saying that Blake isn't nice, it's just, I could see him with season 1 Mary much easier than I could see him with season 4 Mary. Season 4 Mary seems to do well...

So, I recently bought this Game of Thrones t-shirt because I really love this phrase. 'I do not have a gentle heart', that is such a great and descriptive phrase. In case you don't know 'I do not have a gentle heart' describes Dany Targaryen and it's sort of her motto for season 4 of the TV show. Anyway, I got to thinking about what exactly this phrase means. One of the reasons I like Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire so much, is that the characters are so realistic and well rounded, especially the female characters.  So often in fantasy novels that take place in a medieval world, the female characters take one of three forms: the tough but noble  do-gooder, the evil queen, and the locked in a tower princess. I think this is partly because  medieval writers had an extremely limited vocabulary when describing women, so fantasy writers who look back to that time period think that only two types of women existed in the medieval age: the paragon...

So, I recently read this article about Justin Bieber and I have to say, I never quite realized how much I  disliked him. I mean, up until this point, he was sort of a minor annoyance in my life, like Canadian pennies and one way streets. Like, until I read up on his arrest record, I had no idea how much bad stuff Biebs was up to. Like, egging someone's house? What is this middle school? But all kidding aside, DUIs, ordering your body guards to beat up paparazzi, and harassing flight attendants are all pretty serious stunts. I know I may take some hate for this opinion, but even if you like Bieber's music, you have to admit he's messed up pretty seriously lately, and there's no excuse for breaking the law. Like, because he looks like he's twelve years old, I think people forget that he's a menace to society. Anyway, the point is, Bieber is ruining the good name of celebrity Justins. Like seven years ago, if you said the name Justin in reference to a celebrity ...