Just Sayin'

So, I was reading this article about an elephant preserve in Florida (if someone wants to explain why that makes sense) and they were talking about the many virtues of the elephant species. Let me tell you something, I love elephants. Like, I don't think they're too many people in the world who dislike elephants, but I love elephants. I even have an elephant piggy bank! What an oxymoron. Anyway, the article was talking about the family values of the elephant culture and the way the matriarch elephants hold the herd together and I was so pleased that people are finally starting to realize how great elephants are! To quote the article: "They are family oriented. They're honest and straightforward. We should learn from them". It was about this point in the article that I realized something very important: elephants are the antithesis of octopi. If you read my blog regularly, you know that octopi really freak me out. It's partially the fact that they have n...

So, on Sunday, I was watching the U.S. Open (you have to make sacrifices on Father's Day) and I noticed that quite a few golfers had made some interesting fashion choices. I saw one person in pink pants, someone in plaid pants, Tiger Woods had a shirt with a weird, vertical line going through it, and, as always, I have no idea what Ricky Fowler was wearing. But the real story were the octopus pants. In case you haven't heard, Bill Horschel wore Ralph Lauren octopus pants on Sunday during the U.S. Open. Now, I could say several things about these pants, but I think that most important question is "huh?". Like, I understand that Ralph Lauren is trying to make a statement and trying to attract attention, but seriously, what was the thought process there? What does the octopus have to do with golf? You might as well put rabbits on his pants, at least you have rabbits on a golf course. I think the problem is that, in a lot of ways, golf is a pretty sedate game. I k...

So, I was watching the Animal Planet the other day and there was this show on about squids. On the show, they were talking about how, if you get in the water with squids, they'll surround you and start attacking you and end up eating you. Actually, on the show, they said that a group of squids (they hunt in packs because one squid is just not terrifying enough) can be more dangerous than a shark when it attacks. Let's think about that for a minute. Squids eat people. That is completely ridiculous! The world needs to know that this is going on! Like, you plan for sharks, you plan for lions and tigers and bears; you don't plan for squids. I had no idea that this sort of thing was going on in the world! As you may recall from earlier blog posts, I was kind of concerned about the potential dangers of the octopus, but I'm over that now. I'm much more concerned about squids taking over the world. Like, the problem is, no one is paying attention to the squid. You...

So, yesterday, I was on Facebook and I saw this article that one of my friends posted ( http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2008/03/31_octo.shtml ) about the secret life of the American octopus. Anyway, it was an interesting article, but there was one line that particularly bothered me: "They're obsessively secretive, solitary and pretty spooky," Caldwell said. "If you watch them, they watch you back. It's hard to study them." . That's right, somewhere, some place, an octopus is watching you. Now, I find this idea distressing on many levels. I thought the whole 'you're never more than 10 feet from a spider' thing was bad, but I was wrong, this is much worse (not that spiders aren't bad, because I saw another article about how spiders eat bats, but that is a different blog). I don't trust octopi. When I was about twelve, I saw this special on the animal planet about how, in the future, when humans are extinct, land octopi ...

So, the other day, my mom was telling me about how she saw some pink, octopus Christmas ornaments and she thought it was weird. "Who would want an octopus on their Christmas tree?" she asked me. I thought it was weird to, but mostly because Christmas ornaments in September is a little ridiculous. But actually, who wouldn't want an octopus on their Christmas tree? I think the octopus is an unappreciated animal. They're delicious (and surprisingly chewy), they're symmetrical - unlike those abnormal squids with their freaky cyclopes eyes, and, according to Animal Planet , they will one day rule the world. But seriously, I once saw this special about how after humans are extinct, land octopi will swing through the jungles of Borneo as masters of the earth. I'm just saying, planet of the apes seems a little far fetched - how about planet of the c ephalopods? For example, a few years ago I heard about this octopus named Paul who lived in Germany who could pre...