Just Sayin'

So, I am of the opinion that seeing the movie Frozen was possibly the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. I loved it! It's easily the best of the new generation of Disney movies (although Tangled will always occupy a special place in my heart). Anyway, a few days ago, I was procrastinating studying for an exam and I started looking up different songs from Frozen in different languages (I've come to the conclusion that everything sounds better in Norwegian) and I came across a version of Love is an Open Door in Spanish ( La Puerta es el Amor ( The Door is Love - not so good in Spanish)) and there was a comment on the video that made me think. Someone had written that Disney intended this to be Prince Hans' "Villain Song", since later on in the movie you would realize how sinister it really was. This is troubling to me, because I don't think Prince Hans was the villain of Frozen . Sure, he was a villain in Frozen , but he's not the v...

So, right now in America, the government has been shut down due to some controversial and polarizing issues. Obviously, everyone is very upset and things are starting to get messy and frustrating. So, to lighten the mood, I'm going to address another controversial and polarizing issue (because, you know, controversy is a barrel full of monkeys): Who is the best Avenger ? Now, this is a difficult question because all of the Avengers have redeeming characteristics; I mean, they're Avengers for a reason. You have to be some kind of awesome, genetically enhanced, genius, deity before they let you in; except for Hawk Eye, who spent most of the movie following Loki around like a zombie (and that's why no one likes him anymore). So, it's really hard to say who is the best Avenger. It's an extremely personal decision. For example, one of my friends says that Captain America is her favorite Avenger because he was the first Avenger. And, like, you have to give prop...

I adore The Avengers as much as the next person, but one member of the Avenger team who has been bothering me for a while is Thor. Like, don't get me wrong, I have full appreciation of Chris Hemsworth and all his beauty, but, and I hate to break it to the world, Thor is not a superhero . In case you weren't aware, Thor is actually a mythical deity in ancient, Norse culture. Following in the tradition of Indo-European religions, Thor is a storm god (like Zeus), associated with thunder, lightning, and his famous hammer, Mjollnir. So, understandably, he makes a good superhero. I'm all for the appreciation of world mythology, of course, and I've been trying to read more mythology myself, but I'm sort of annoyed with Marvel for co-opting Thor.  Like, it's the same thing as when Disney came out with Hercules and everyone was complaining that they the original, Greek mythology didn't match up. It's the same thing with Norse mythology, everyone's like...

So, since I wrote about Jurassic Park last week, I thought I'd talk about one of my other favorite movies, Independence Day . Now a lot of people think that Independence Day is just an action, patriotism movie about the power of the human spirit and what you can accomplish if you set your mind to it, but it's about so much more than that. It's about Will Smith killing aliens. Sure, it's a great 'Murica moment when the president rallies the fighter pilots and they go in guns a-blazing to shot down the alien's space ship, but when Will Smith's plane gets shot down over the desert and he just pops out of the smoking wreckage and starts beating on that alien, that's what makes the movie. I mean, there are a lot of great characters in Independence Day, but Will Smith's character, Steve, is definitely the clincher. Like, he gets shot out of the sky, beats up an alien, then drags it for miles across the desert, and then goes on to learn to fly a UFO, who...

So, the other day I saw Jurassic Park (for the millionth time). Let me tell you something, I frickin' love Jurassic Park . It's right up there on my list of my favorite movies along with The Amazing Spider-Man ,   Dr. Strangelove ,  Independence Day , and Mean Girls  (gotta love the classics). I know everyone is always all like "oh Spielberg, he made E.T. !". Not me, I don't really care about E.T. (although I did like the whole glowing finger thing and the scene where he's following the Reese's Pieces); when I hear anything about Spielberg, I'm like "oh, he made Jurassic Park ". In my opinion, Jurassic Park is a massively underrated movie and I will tell you why. Nowadays, when you see a dinosaur on TV, it's Dr. Curt Connors as The Lizard and the citizens of Tokyo are running for the hills. And it's not like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park just dropped out of the sky either. There is a very plausible explanation for the crea...

So, the other day I was watching Conan the Barbarian with my dad and I just have to say, huh? I mean, I've seen this movie a couple of times and I've tried, I've really tried; I just don't get it. It's not that I don't like barbarians, I'm very pro-barbarian. Actually, the word barbarian originated from the Ancient  Greek word barbaros , which referred to anyone who wasn't Greek. Hey, I'm not Greek, I'm a barbarian too! So yes, Conan, I get where you're coming from with the bad haircut and all that leather clothing - I've had bad hair cuts too, it's rough, I get it. Plus, I was a big fan of Dave the Barbarian when it was on Disney Channel. However, for all my barbarian sentimentality, there are a few questions that I just have to ask. First off, why do the snake people kill Conan's parents? I get that, when you're a barbarian, sometimes you just want to go and pillage, but you have to have a reason. I mean, what, was it ...

So, in the spirit of blogs about aquatic creatures (which seems to be becoming a theme on this blog), I'm going to write about something that's been bothering me for some time: the name Nemo. Ever since Finding Nemo came out, people have been going crazy about the name Nemo. Everyone's like 'oh, Nemo, that's such a cute name. I'm going to name my dog Nemo and my cat Nemo and my car Nemo and....". But what no one seems to realize is that Nemo means 'no one'. That's horrible! Finding Nemo is actually Finding No One ! Like, Nemo already has a bad fin, are you really going to make his life worse by calling him a no one? That's tottally child abuse. Like, his mom and all his brothers and sisters were killed right in front of him, doesn't he have enough emotional scars? Now, I know that they were thinking of Captian Nemo from Jules Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea , but I don't think the people who wrote Finding Ne...

So, about a week ago, I saw the new Iron Man movie, Iron Man 3 , and, even though I have a long standing allegiance to Spider-Man, I have to say, it made Iron Man one of my favorite superheroes. And you all know how I feel about Spider-Man. I think that Iron Man is such a likeable character because he's not perfect. He doesn't even actually have super powers; he's human. Like, if you see Iron Man in the supermarket, you can be all "hey Tony - double stuffed Oreos? Good choice - so much better than regular stuffed", but, if you saw Superman in the supermarket, it would be really weird and awkward and he would be all like "excuse me, do you know if this cereal contains kryptonite?" and I would be like O_o. But, that sort of thing doesn't happen with Iron Man because Iron Man understands people. I mean, he's not really a people person, but he is a person who understands people. The problem with Superman is that he's so super, he doesn't ...

So, I recently saw Spider-Man 2 (from the original series) on television and, I've got to say, compared to the Amazing Spider-Man , it was kind of disappointing. And I'm not saying that just because Tobey Maguire is short and says things like 'gee' (although, don't get me wrong, that is a problem). Actually, I was really bothered by Mary Jane's portrayal in the movie, and, actually, in all of the other original Spider-Man movies. Just waiting to be saved It's not just that her hair is obviously dyed and she has horrible taste in blouses, she's just such a flat character. I mean, really, a howler monkey could play her part. All she does is stand around and scream and wait to be rescued. Not to mention that, in Spider-Man 2 , she gets engaged essentially just to spite Peter Parker and ends up leaving her fiancee at the altar. Obviously, she's not a terribly encouraging character from a feminist perspective. Take the third movie, it's been a w...

No One in the World Has Hair this Color So, this is a topic that's been bothering me for a while. A few weeks ago, I saw the movie Tangled and, and I know this is the point of the movie, Rapunzel's hair is completely ridiculous. But it got me thinking; Disney movie characters have the most unrealistic hair I've ever seen. Like, seriously! Originally, I was going to include this in a longer blog about things I don't understand about Disney movies, but then I realized there wasn't that much I didn't understand about Disney movies and I had a lot to say about hair. Like, think about The Little Mermaid , I know she's supposed to have red hair, but she doesn't have red hair, she has red hair. In reality, humans who have red hair have orange hair, but Ariel has RED hair, fire engine red. What's more, I don't know if the people at Disney have ever seen hair underwater, but it doesn't float around in a big, red, hairy cloud; it breaks into s...

Okay, so, I've come to the conclusion that no one cares about this as much as I do; but this still blew my mind and I feel it is my civic duty as a denizen of the internet to tell you about it: So, you know how when you're a little kid and see/hear something and it just stays lodged in some dark corner of your brain  and then years and years later, you see or hear the same thing and you're all like "that was the thing from thing from the time! I finally understand the world!" Well, that happened to me today. I don't know how many of you watch The Borgias (probably not many because it's a massively underrated show), but, anyway, it's a show on HBO about the family of Pope Alexander VI, who presided over a rather dubious papacy during the renaissance (the Borgias have been called the original crime family). Long story short, it makes for good television. Anyway, I've been watching this show for two seasons, which equates to about twenty episod...

So, last night my roommate and I were watching Mulan (finals, cough, cough, finals) and, I don't know if I've been indoctrinated with too much feminist film theory in English 200, but I have some thoughts about it that I never had before. For, example in the song "I'll Make a Man Out of You"; it's pretty ironic that Mulan, who is a women, is in fact the manliest person in the whole army. Which, may or may not be impressive because the other guys in Mulan's army are kind of wimpy (except for Shang who is the most chiseled cartoon character you will even meet), I mean, Chien-Po can't even swim! I would just like to point out that I've been swimming since I was five. But seriously, why is it necessary for Mulan to be so manly? She isn't a man. Why is it so desirable for women to act like men in this movie, I ask you? Like a Man! This is ironic because the whole film is supposedly about the importance of being yourself and, to 'be her...

So, last night I saw Breaking Dawn part 2. Now, normally, this would be where I would be all "warning: contains spoilers"; but, I'm not going to say that because, if you're a real Twilight fan, I figure you'll see it anyway, no matter what I say. Besides, if you're a real fan, you were probably at the midnight premier and you read the books, so you know what happens anyway. So, it doesn't even matter, and, if you're not a fan, then you definitely don't care. Personally, I'm in the category of people who appreciate the Twilight films for the works of comedy that they are. She does not look like a child But there were a few things were just really weird. First of all, baby Renesmee did not look like a baby. You would think that one ultra-hot vampire and a supposedly attractive human would be able to produce a baby that did not look like a martian squirrel. I mean, I understand that she's a special baby and she grows quickly but that d...