Dinosaurs are People Too
So, the other day I saw Jurassic Park (for the millionth time). Let me tell you something, I frickin' love Jurassic Park. It's right up there on my list of my favorite movies along with The Amazing Spider-Man, Dr. Strangelove, Independence Day, and Mean Girls (gotta love the classics). I know everyone is always all like "oh Spielberg, he made E.T.!". Not me, I don't really care about E.T. (although I did like the whole glowing finger thing and the scene where he's following the Reese's Pieces); when I hear anything about Spielberg, I'm like "oh, he made Jurassic Park".
In my opinion, Jurassic Park is a massively underrated movie and I will tell you why. Nowadays, when you see a dinosaur on TV, it's Dr. Curt Connors as The Lizard and the citizens of Tokyo are running for the hills. And it's not like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park just dropped out of the sky either. There is a very plausible explanation for the creation of the dinosaurs. If there was a remake of Jurassic Park made today, instead of the scene where they talk about the science behind the dinosaurs, there would be a scene where all the scientists were like "well, we just went over to Area 51 and asked the government if we could get some dinosaur eggs off the space ship because we all know that there was a booming triceratops trade on Mars before the great Martian apocalypse of '74". And everyone in the theatre would be like O_o.
That doesn't happen in Jurassic Park; in that movie there are scientists and people who know what they're talking about. I don't know if anyone has read the Jurassic Park book (which I would highly recommend), but it's even more science-y. It's all very plausible. It makes you feel like one day you could have a pet triceratops, just like the Martians. I especially like the bit in the movie when the paleontologist guy is talking about how all the dinosaurs turned into birds (that is actually sort of true because the chicken is the closest living relative of the t-rex, but you all know how I feel about chickens so we're not going to talk about that). That is just such a lovely moment You're like, "yeah, I like birds and I like dinosaurs too; I really like this movie". It's such a feel good film because it's full of those lovely moments.
Perhaps my favorite scene in Jurassic Park was when the brontosaurus (and yes I know that that's not the right word; it's the whole Pluto thing all over again :P) sneezes on the little girl. Because, sometimes, when you're a brontosaurus, something tickles your nose and you just have to sneeze. And you know what, that's okay because dinosaurs are people too. I mean, I've seen the Land Before Time movies and I know that the dinosaur is an extremely sensitive creature. I mean, sure, the t-rex eats the lawyer in Jurassic Park, but hey, he didn't know that he was a lawyer. You can't except a t-rex to know about lawyers; that's preposterous! The t-rex isn't really evil or anything, it's just kind of stupid; I mean, really, it tried to eat the land rover; there can't be a lot going on up there.
The brontosaurus, on the other hand, is definitely an intelligent animal, which is why Little Foot is always the ring leader in Land Before Time. I mean, in that one scene, they sing to each other, like whales! I don't understand how everyone can be so gung-ho about whales and not be gung-ho about the brontosaurus. It's the same thing with the Loch Ness Monster. Everyone is always talking about the Loch Ness Monster as if it were the crocodile that ate Captain Hook's hand. What is the Loch Ness Monster if not a swimming brontosaurus? Why doesn't the brontosaurus command the same sort of respect as Nessie? Anyway, I like Jurassic Park because it gives the brontosaurus that respect. It says "hey, you brontosauruses, I acknowledge that you are at least as intelligent as the average whale and I want to celebrate your person-ness". Besides, as far as I'm aware the brontosaurus was the first vegetarian; they were really quite progressive for their time.
Jurassic Park also celebrates a dinosaur that's more intelligent than the whale - the velociraptor. As far as I'm concerned the velociraptor is probably more intelligent than most people and, if they still existed, we'd all be bowing down to the velociraptor overlords. Fortunately that's not the case because that would be a real downer. I mean, the raptors are really the only terrifying aspect of that movie. Sure, the t-rex is scary, but it's really the raptors that give you nightmares. They're definitely smart enough to be people; they can open doors and sneak up on people and figure out electric fences. There are a lot of humans who can't do any of those things; I have opposable thumbs and I've never successfully snuck up on anyone! If raptors were people, they'd probably be either in prison or in a mental institution, but hey, they'd still be people.
That's why I like Jurassic Park; it's like "hey, I'm Steven Spielberg and I'm aware that a velociraptor could eat me but I'm going to make a movie about it anyway and I don't care if a dinosaur sneezes on me because snot is what the public wants to see". I see what you did there Steven Spielberg. I respect that.
Just sayin'
That doesn't happen in Jurassic Park; in that movie there are scientists and people who know what they're talking about. I don't know if anyone has read the Jurassic Park book (which I would highly recommend), but it's even more science-y. It's all very plausible. It makes you feel like one day you could have a pet triceratops, just like the Martians. I especially like the bit in the movie when the paleontologist guy is talking about how all the dinosaurs turned into birds (that is actually sort of true because the chicken is the closest living relative of the t-rex, but you all know how I feel about chickens so we're not going to talk about that). That is just such a lovely moment You're like, "yeah, I like birds and I like dinosaurs too; I really like this movie". It's such a feel good film because it's full of those lovely moments.
Perhaps my favorite scene in Jurassic Park was when the brontosaurus (and yes I know that that's not the right word; it's the whole Pluto thing all over again :P) sneezes on the little girl. Because, sometimes, when you're a brontosaurus, something tickles your nose and you just have to sneeze. And you know what, that's okay because dinosaurs are people too. I mean, I've seen the Land Before Time movies and I know that the dinosaur is an extremely sensitive creature. I mean, sure, the t-rex eats the lawyer in Jurassic Park, but hey, he didn't know that he was a lawyer. You can't except a t-rex to know about lawyers; that's preposterous! The t-rex isn't really evil or anything, it's just kind of stupid; I mean, really, it tried to eat the land rover; there can't be a lot going on up there.
The brontosaurus, on the other hand, is definitely an intelligent animal, which is why Little Foot is always the ring leader in Land Before Time. I mean, in that one scene, they sing to each other, like whales! I don't understand how everyone can be so gung-ho about whales and not be gung-ho about the brontosaurus. It's the same thing with the Loch Ness Monster. Everyone is always talking about the Loch Ness Monster as if it were the crocodile that ate Captain Hook's hand. What is the Loch Ness Monster if not a swimming brontosaurus? Why doesn't the brontosaurus command the same sort of respect as Nessie? Anyway, I like Jurassic Park because it gives the brontosaurus that respect. It says "hey, you brontosauruses, I acknowledge that you are at least as intelligent as the average whale and I want to celebrate your person-ness". Besides, as far as I'm aware the brontosaurus was the first vegetarian; they were really quite progressive for their time.
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| Definately smarter than a 5th grader |
That's why I like Jurassic Park; it's like "hey, I'm Steven Spielberg and I'm aware that a velociraptor could eat me but I'm going to make a movie about it anyway and I don't care if a dinosaur sneezes on me because snot is what the public wants to see". I see what you did there Steven Spielberg. I respect that.
Just sayin'
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