They Dyed Niagara Falls Blue and Other Bad Decisions

So, a few days ago, when Prince George was born, I heard that the Canadians had dyed Niagara Falls blue in his honor. On the surface, that's a nice thing to do; it's a lovely gesture. Of course, everyone was so excited about the royal baby that it seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do.

But, think about it, what if that baby had been a girl? I mean, the gender of the baby was not announced before it's birth, so it could have easily been a girl and they would have had to dye the falls pink. That is disturbing because I'm pretty sure the Canadian government didn't just dash over to Wal-Mart for those little bottles of food dye with the pointy caps. If you want to be able to find enough dye to change the color of Niagara Falls, you have to buy it ahead of time. Which, would be fine, except that no one knew it was going to be a boy. So, the way I see it, they would have had to buy enough blue dye and pink dye, just in case. What a waste of Canadian taxpayer money!

Like, I don't know if people have really thought about this, but this is really a huge expense. I mean, wake up a smell the pancakes, Canada! Do you know how many maple trees you're going to have to tap to pay for that? Because they managed to dye it so quickly, they must have had everything ready and were just waiting for the birth. I can just imagine a bunch of Canadians sitting at the top of the falls with big drums of dye, eating their Canadian bacon with maple syrup, saying "any day now, aye". Not to mention, that you have to pay those people who are sitting up there waiting. It's crazy!  You see, this is why the US does not have a monarchy.

Not to mention the environmental impact dumping all that dye in the water is bound to have. Like I don't know what they used to change the color, but even if it's a "safe" chemical, throwing stuff like that into any eco-system is not a good idea. Not to mention, that they didn't even really need to dye the water because, news flash, water is already blue! Well, water is clear, but clean water reflects the sky and has a blueish hue. If they wanted to dye it any color, they should have dyed it purple. Purple is the color of royalty, so it's not gender specific, and it would have looked really cool and stunning. Or, they could have just stopped with lighting up the CN tower with blue lights. That would have been cool too. Also, you need to keep pumping dye into the falls to keep it blue. It's blue for like 10 minutes, then it's done. The lights last a whole lot longer.

So, long story short, dying Niagara falls blue was a bad decision.

I know that, in Britain, they dyed all the fountains blue, but those are fountains, that's different. That's a much smaller amount of water and, unlike Niagara falls, it's actually in an area where the royal family can see it and enjoy it. Ten years from now, when they tell that Prince that they dyed Niagara Falls blue when he was born, he's going to be like "so what, I've been there".

My mom pointed out that they might have dyed it blue because blue is supposed to be a royal color. You know, that's why they say "blue blood" (although, truthfully, anyone could have blue blood if you cut them deep enough). But actually, blue was most commonly used as a 'royal' color by the French monarchs, and we all know what happened to them. It's kind of a bad portent. Sometimes, it's just better to bring a Gymboree gift card to the baby shower.

Just sayin'