Things You Can Eat with Ketchup

I come from a long line of ketchup enthusiasts. That's why it distresses me that ketchup does not get the respect it deserves as a condiment. In my opinion, ketchup outranks every other condiment (unless you count guacamole as a condiment - avocado beats tomatoes any day). So, it distresses me that I take a lot of flak from my friends for putting ketchup on, well, pretty much everything. (Also, let me just note that when I say ketchup, I mean Heinz ketchup because nothing else is even vaguely worthy of consumption (side note, did you know that the Heinz company also makes peanut butter,  strangely, that gives me a craving for a peanut butter ketchup sandwich))

I mean, everyone's always telling me how important eating vegetables is - doesn't ketchup count as a vegetable? I know that the tomato is a fruit, but, nutritionally it seems like more of a vegetable. So, if ketchup is a vegetable, I should be consuming like three to four servings a day, right? Which is actually, for me anyway, pretty easy. So, let me present you with a list of things that one can eat with ketchup.

1) Scrambled eggs, obviously, I'm not sure why everyone looks at me funny when I do this, but a ton of people in the UK eat their eggs with tomatoes, which means that Harry Potter probably eats his eggs with tomatoes, which means that it's advisable that you eat your eggs with tomatoes (remember, you can't vanquish an evil wizard if you have a vegetable deficiency).

2) Any sort of meat, I don't eat beef or pork products, but I understand that most people enjoy ketchup on their hamburgers and hot dogs. I put it on chicken.

3) Fish, of either the finger or non-finger variety (note, one can also consume fish fingers with custard, but I understand that most people do not consider it a vegetable. (I was confused too)).

4) Macaroni and Cheese, don't knock it until you try it, the creamy cheese and acidic ketchup complement each other very well.

5)Mayonnaise, now, before you give me a quizzical expression, let me ask you, what do you think thousand island dressing is???? Anyway, mayo-ketchup is very good on french fries, corn fritters, salad (apparently, I try to avoid green food on principle - you know, because of the green 'Toxic' stickers), and Life.

6) French fries, which should be called Belgian fries, but, as I state in an earlier blog, there is a thorough lack of respect for all things Belgian (note: french fries can also be consumed with ice cream, sour cream, ranch dressing, milkshakes, and happiness).

7) Baked beans, which should also be served with brown sugar.

8) White rice, which is also very good with melted, American cheese (as if it was actual cheese).

9) Tuna salad, just think of it this way, you know that ketchup is good with fish, you know that it's good with mayonnaise, why would it be bad with tuna salad?

10) Grilled cheese, if you eat it with tomato soup, you can eat it with ketchup. 

11) Chili (I don't feel that this requires any further explanation).

12) Turkey - it's a great way to gross your family out on Thanksgiving.

13) Anything made out of potatoes, especially if you're like me and you don't really like mashed potatoes (ketchup makes them a lot better - also a good way to gross out your family). 

14) Corn dogs, again, also good with mayonnaise, or mayo-ketchup O_o.

15) Vienna sausages - a vastly underrated food.

16) Meatloaf - classic.

Apparently, some people also take a little ketchup with their ketchup, but I think that's going a little far, wouldn't you agree?

Just sayin'