Octopus Pants

So, on Sunday, I was watching the U.S. Open (you have to make sacrifices on Father's Day) and I noticed that quite a few golfers had made some interesting fashion choices. I saw one person in pink pants, someone in plaid pants, Tiger Woods had a shirt with a weird, vertical line going through it, and, as always, I have no idea what Ricky Fowler was wearing. But the real story were the octopus pants.

In case you haven't heard, Bill Horschel wore Ralph Lauren octopus pants on Sunday during the U.S. Open. Now, I could say several things about these pants, but I think that most important question is "huh?". Like, I understand that Ralph Lauren is trying to make a statement and trying to attract attention, but seriously, what was the thought process there? What does the octopus have to do with golf? You might as well put rabbits on his pants, at least you have rabbits on a golf course.

I think the problem is that, in a lot of ways, golf is a pretty sedate game. I know that it takes a lot of skill and practice, but I think it's as much a mental game as it is a physical game. Also, it's traditionally sort of a snobby, upper-crust sort of game. There's a lot of rules and conventions and stuff. I mean, I think golf is the only sport you have to wear slacks to play and spectators have to clap instead of cheer. You can't really do wild and crazy with golf; you can't even where your hat backwards (cough, cough, Ricky Fowler, cough, cough, Augusta). They frown on that sort of thing. It may also one of the only sports where the lowest score wins (I guess they did that to make the under achievers feel better). So, if you're a professional golf player, you really have to do something to spice it up.

It's like, everything is so serious, then someone comes out wearing something totally ridiculous and no one blinks an eye. But we are talking about a game in which plaid clothing is the norm. Why is golf the plaid game? Is it because of Scotland? I've been to Scotland, and let me tell you, they wear things other than plaid. I've seen quite a few solid colored pieces of cloth, stripes, etc. I guess when you wear a lot of plaid, you feel like you're living on the edge or something. You really have to wear something shocking to stand out in that sort of fashion environment.

The orange outfit isn't the only weird thing Fowler is wearing

I get that, I really do. You want to do something to show a little personality, to stand out a little. But I think octopus pants are a little radical for golf. I mean, I feel like it's probably a little controversial, maybe even a little scandalous, and most definitely a poor fashion choice. I don't care who you are, you can't pull off octopi on your pants.

It's almost as bad as Ricky Fowler's orange pants, orange shirt, orange shoes, and orange, puma hat. He looks like he's doing a Fanta commercial or something. I don't know anything about golf, but I feel like Fowler is sort of like the Ryan Lochte of golf. Seriously, puma? Isn't that a little extreme for golf? Not to mention the whole surfer dude haircut he's got going on.

He may even be giving octopus pants a run for his money.

Just sayin'