In Which I Make Disparaging Remarks about the State of Vampire Fiction

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So, here's the thing about vampires: if you really think about it, I mean, really think about what a vampire is, it's pretty terrifying. A vampire is a person that drinks your blood until you die. Bjorihoihgtroihrti! That's freaky!
So, what I don't understand is why people are all like 'oh, Edward Cullen, he's so cute! I loooove him! I wish I was a hot vampire like Edward Cullen!'. And I'm like, 'no, no you don't, because then you'd be dead and you would be drinking people's blood and that's not good'. Like, I'm not criticizing vampires for being vampires, because, hey, life's tough and sometimes you become a vampire. But if you're a vampire, you should at least have the decency to be tortured about it. I mean, you're not supposed to be cheerful about being undead.

Which is why I really miss good, old-fashioned vampire fiction, like Interview with the Vampire and the other books by Anne Rice. Let me just say that vampire fiction is in a deplorable state these days! Like, for some reason, every vampire on TV or in the movies has turned into Edward Cullen and is getting all sentimental and all like 'I know I'm a vampire, but I'm actually a really good guy'. The problem is that vampires are not supposed to be good guys, they're supposed to be vampires. That's kind of the point.

Like, The Vampire Diaries used to be a good show, even though Stephen was so annoying, trying to be Mr. Good Vampire. But, despite that, I liked the show a lot because of Damon and Klaus and Katherine. They were real vampires! Now, even they're getting sentimental.

That's why I liked True Blood so much. They were all so unapologetic about being vampires. Eric especially was my favorite (no one likes Bill, especially now that he's become Bilith), Eric was just like 'I drink blood and I like it'. Which is exactly the attitude vampires are supposed to have! That's why I'm not pleased about seasons 4 and 5 of True Blood.

I don't even know what they were trying to do, but it's not working. The vampires aren't behaving like vampires anymore, but they're not behaving like people either. They're just being weird. I think it's because, in season 1, they started out telling a pretty local story, a small town mystery. Now, it's like, the fate of the whole world rests in the hands of Sookie Stackhouse and it's like, this is no longer realistic. The whole show is a mess! I'm hoping that season 6 redeems itself, but it's not looking good.

Okay, I'm getting a little off topic here.

The point is that vampire fiction is in a bad way. Though, since I saw Warm Bodies, I've had high hopes for zombie fiction, there's nothing apologetic about eating someone's brain and then steeling their girlfriend.

Just sayin'

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