Just Sayin'

Recently, I was introduced to the beautiful song/video Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf. I know what you're thinking: Why? How? What? I don't know, but it's quite possibly one of the best things on the Internet. No, scratch that, the BEST thing on the Internet. I mean, when you watch the video, you're like: "Shia LaBeouf isn't that weird, is he? No wait, he actually is." I like Shia LaBeouf as much as the next person; Holes was a great movie -- so was Fury , but you can't deny, he's really, really weird. I showed this video to one of my friends and she was like "what? what is this? I need some context here?" Now, I don't need context for this video, because I have no expectations of Shia LaBeouf except that he continue to be the zebra-of-weirdness that is Shia LaBeouf. However, I understand that other people need context, so I've decided offer an explanation for Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf. So, the first weird thing about th...

I don't normally write "serious" blogs, but I feel the need to address the current KDR scandal at Penn State. In case you're unfamiliar with the situation, this article does a pretty good job of explaining everything that's happened; basically, the fraternity Kappa Delta Rho is being investigated after they used a private Facebook page to post nude photos of women who had passed out or were sleeping in their frat house. I only have one thing to say about this: Penn State, I am sick of this . Penn State has a huge problem when it comes to sexual assault and rape. Let me give you some quick facts: in 2012, Penn State had the highest number of reported sexual offenses of any campus in the country (according to The Washington Post); since February of this year, there have been 6 forcible sex offenses reported on campus; and sexual assault cases involving alcohol are often not prosecuted in State College. All of this is completely unacceptable. Penn State is a ...

Overall, I have a fair amount of confidence in myself as a grown up. I mean, I pay taxes and stuff; sometimes I even clean and cook things without a microwave. But one thing that I struggle with as an adult is being a parent. A fish parent. In case you are unfamiliar with my blog (although my URL is literally I have a fish tank, so I think it's pretty clear), I have a fish tank full of guppies that I'm very proud of. I blog a lot about my fish -- but one thing I don't think I've talked about a lot is how difficult it is to be a fish parent. Once fish are grown up, basically all you have to do is feed them. But raising fish from fry (that's a fancy word for baby fish #smart) to grown up fish is pretty difficult. First of all, you have to buy special food for baby fish because their mouths are too small for the normal food. Then, you have to encourage them and talk to them about swimming and stuff like that. However, the biggest problem is that grown up fish lik...

You know what bothers me about China? THEY OWN ALL THE PANDAS. Like, don't get me wrong -- I have no problem with China, but they have a problem, and that problem is PANDA GREED. Fact: China owns every panda in the WORLD; not just the pandas in China -- all the pandas everywhere. There are pandas chillin' in the US right now who belong to China. American zoos pay RENT every year for the right to display pandas. And when I say rent, I mean ONE MILLION dollars per panda. This is true even for pandas who were born in the United States (or in any other country that isn't China). Maybe I'm reading the constitution wrong or something but my understanding is that, if someone is born here, they're a US citizen. I'm not sure if that applies to pandas, but if it doesn't, it should. I say this because if American zoos go through the trouble and expense of breeding a panda (which is not easy) they shouldn't have to pay a million dollars for the privlidge of ca...

Lyanna Stark I saw the new trailer for the new season of Game of Thrones the other day (the best thing about spring is the new seasons of TV shows), and it got me thinking about the origins of A Song of Ice and Fire . If you only watch Game of Thrones and haven't read the A Song of Ice and Fire books, you're missing a HUGE chunk of the plot. There's a huge pre-story that informs the action of the show in monumental ways, and all that begins and ends with Lyanna Stark -- the single most important character that never appears in any of the books or the TV show. In case you're unfamiliar with the pre-history of A Song of Ice and Fire , Lyanna Stark is the younger sister of Ned Stark. Before the start of A Game of Thrones she was 'kidnapped' by Rhaegar Targaryen and taken to the Tower of Joy, causing the start of Robert's Rebellion. She late dies at the Tower of Joy. I say 'kidnapped' because everything that's insinuated about Lyanna indi...

For an English major, I'm remarkably chill about grammar. I've blogged about this before. I don't really care about spelling and who and whom and things like that, but one thing I really don't care about is subject verb agreement. Lemme explain what I mean: as a chill English major, I feel it is my sworn duty to address the gender neutral pronoun issue in the English language. In case you're unfamiliar with the gender neutral pronoun debacle, it comes down to this: the burrito eater must realize that they will become a burrito . Did you see anything wrong with that sentence? If no, congratulations: you have successfully internalized the descriptive trend towards gender neutral pronouns in English.  If you're a prescriptivist, this makes your brain EXPLODE. Someone with a more prescriptive attitude towards grammar would probably tell you that this sentence is incorrect because "eater" is singular whereas "they" is plural. Technically, the...

So, the other day I went to California Tortilla for the first time. I liked it a lot. Not because of the food -- although the food was pretty good -- because of the diet soda. I'm a person in college who doesn't like coffee, so diet soda is pretty important to me as a source of caffeine. Anyway, you'd think that soda is pretty much the same anywhere you go, but you'd be wrong. That day at California Tortilla I experienced the diet soda miracle. They had this Coke machine with a touch  screen (which is pretty cool to begin with) and all the flavors of soda known to man. Seriously! I saw flavors of soda that I never dreamed existed! They had Vanilla Coke, Lime Coke, Raspberry Coke, Cherry Coke, Cherry Vanilla Coke, and Orange Coke. ORANGE COKE. That's amazing! I've never even heard of Orange Coke. Apparently, it's only been in the US for like six years, maybe less. Before that, you had to go to Russia to get Orange Coke! RUSSIA!  It's not even just Cok...