Let the Unicorns Run Free

So, a little while ago I heard that the unicorn is the national animal of Scotland. Now, I don't mean to be nitpicky, but doesn't that seem a bit outlandish? I mean, I've been to Scotland and there aren't many herds of wild unicorns running around. Actually, I didn't see a single unicorn! How is that allowed? If there are no unicorns in Scotland, how can it be the national animal? There may have been unicorns at one time, but Voldemort probably ate them all. If there is a unicorn in Scotland, it's probably sitting in a zoo somewhere, wiping it's hooves on the doormat before going into the unicorn enclousure. What kind of life is that for a unicorn? Let the unicorns run free!

Now, I understand their dilemma, because if they limited themselves to animals that actually live in Scotland, their national animal would probably end up being a sheep - or a hare. And that would be a problem because hares are terrifying! I don't know if you've ever seen a hare, but it's like a rabbit the size of a dog with ears like a pair of helicopter blades. I like sheep as much as the next person, but you can't put a sheep on your coins.

That sort of thing sends the wrong message.

But it's not just Scotland, one of the national animals of Wales is the Welsh Dragon. Now, I've never been to Wales but my guess is that there's not a lot of dragons wondering around the UK. I mean, why is the national animal of Wales not a whale? Isn't that only logical? Or, if they were dead set on having the dragon, they could just get a flying, fire breathing whale. I mean, with modern genetic science you can get any sort of animal you want. You could have a flightless dragon if you wanted.

Not quite as scary as a chicken

Not that there are a lot of whales in Wales, but we've already established that if one of the requirements for the national animal was that the animal lived in the country it represented a lot of nations would be out of luck. Like, it is disturbing how many European countries use the lion as their national animal. I don't think there are too many lions wondering around London saying "cheerio!". Of course France, England's traditional enemy, choose to go the whole "animals that are native to our nation" route and the best they could come up with was the Gallic Rooster. A rooster. Now, I know that they peck and stuff, but if you put a lion and a rooster in a cage together, you're going to end up with a well fed lion and a pile of feathers. Apparently, the chicken is the closest living relative of the Tyrannosaurus Rex, but they're not exactly first cousins.

However, apparently, it is possible to have an extinct animal as a national animal. The national animal of Mauritius is the dodo. The dodo. Even a chicken beats that.

Just sayin'