The Fang Phenomenon

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So, this is a thing I've noticed. I've seen quite a few vampire shows/movies and what not, and what bothers me the most is the fangs. Like, I'm a fan of True Blood, but when Bill's fangs first pop out in the first episode, I like died laughing.
It just looks so fake!

It's like ridiculously over done. It's not even scary! It looks like they're wearing Halloween, costume teeth. It's almost comical. Also, the fangs should be in the place of the canines. In True Blood, they're next to the front teeth. You can't bite with those teeth! That's what the canines are for. The most important teeth are the ones in the back of the mouth, for chewing and such. I know vampires don't chew, but the fangs still look very unnatural.

I call this the Fang Phenomenon. The phenomenon in which every producer, director, and costume designer who works on any vampire movie anywhere loses their mind and decides to make the fangs look like someone stuck chopsticks in their gums. I mean, they might as well just hire a walrus to play Dracula.

It's Not Scary
I mean, the Dracula/The Vampire Diaries look is good; it's classic, you know? It's just kind of subtle, kind of understated. Interview with the Vampire fangs aren't bad either. I mean, they have the whole quadruple fang thing going - which, vampiracly speaking isn't correct, but it's pretty cool, especially since Brad Pitt is in Interview with the Vampire. Brad Pitt makes everything better.

Speaking of other things that are vampiracly incorrect, what's going on with Nosferatu? It would be totally impossible to bite anyone with fangs like that. It's like the overbite of fangs. I mean, I understand that it was like the first vampire movie ever made, but still, he doesn't even look like a vampire, he looks like a beaver. I've only seen one episode of Supernatural, but it appears that they have the same sort of problem. This happens in Van Helsing as well. I mean, wouldn't you be afraid of chipping a fang if your teeth were that long? I mean, compared to that, the fangs in True Blood are downright normal.

Silly HBO, this is not how you vampire!

Just sayin'

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 3, 2013 at 3:24 AM

    Hahahaha! I see your point! And I love the picture. You made it?

    *Spoilers ahead!*

    Actually, at THE VAMPIRE DIARIES there is a hybrid condition between traditional fangs and TRUE BLOOD fangs, at least for Klaus. It's like he has 4 fangs, like the INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE but with all 4 fangs at the same length. From times to times, that's true for Elena as well.

    As for TRUE BLOOD, their fangs are inspired by snake's fangs. They come from the palate with a half-cyclical movement and they replace the lateral incisors which they ascend inside the gum. It's not always clear, but that's the idea. You will see that there will be bites on places normal canines can not reach (ex. a flat male chest, maybe trying to reach the aorta, I don't know!) and maybe that's why they made them that way. After all, canines positions are pretty "deep" inside the mouth, they would need a thin neck or the ability to open the mouth double as much as a human can to feed with ease, I guess they made them that way to facilitate them... Of course, canines are the most muscular teeth and the place of lateral incisors is pretty weak, but I guess a powerful fantasy creature is strong enough to use them (and not chip them, no matter how long they are!), hahaha!

    I wouldn't try to find realism since the only movie/series for vampires that has a little scientific-looking in it is UNDERWORLD. I mean, TRUE BLOOD and THE VAMPIRE DIARIES vampires need an invitation (*facepalm*) to enter houses, like a force field is protecting the house, I find it so ridiculous...

    And yes, I find NOSFERATU's fang position pretty weird, even I (who I like TRUE BLOOD fang position) think it would be really difficult to draw blood with those teeth. Of course, the way the fangs are made from the palate's side make it easy for the wound to bleed inside the mouth...

    Just sayin'.... ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. M.C.August 3, 2013 at 1:36 PM

      Wow, that's really interesting; I didn't know any of that!Thanks for sharing! :)

      Delete
    2. UnknownAugust 3, 2013 at 1:49 PM

      No problem! :)

      Delete

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