Just Sayin'

I have issues with productivity. Well, to be more accurate, I have issues with distractions and procrastination and pretty much everything else that ends with tion . Every now and then, I sit down to, you know, read a book or do some homework or organize my math notes. Granted, I start out strong: I have a burst of activity, I'm on fire, I'm an English-paper-drafting machine! But then, the internet happens. Oh, internet, you are the cause of my productivity problems. The very existence of this blog is proof of the internet's power over me. There are so many things I could be doing right now; I could be working ahead in my math homework, learning to speak Swahili, or reading to blind chimps in Tanzania. Instead, I'm sitting here, listening to Pandora, writing a blog, because I cannot stand to be in the presence of a compute without getting on the internet. It's not like I'm getting on good, educational sites either. Usually, I'm on Youtube, Wikipedia, Fac...

I decided to write about being left handed for my most recent English paper. It seemed like a good idea - I had all these grand ideas about 1/3 of the population being left handed and lefties being more creative and stuff like that. But actually... I never realized how much my life as a left hander sucked until now. Apparently, left handers as more likely to develop schizophrenia, alcolhism, and are more likely to be criminals...? We're also more likely to die in accidents. Which, makes sense to me since ALL machienery is designed for right handed people. I mean, did you ever notice how, when you're driving, you have to shift on the right? Do you know how difficult that is for me? My right hand is just useless! I refute this data. I think it's propaganda, put out by the right handed majority to oppress us left handers.Its the same thing with mugs, door knobs, and notebooks. And scissors. Oh scissors, thou tools of tyranny. Right handers fear us, they're trying to ...

So, the other day on MSNBC, I saw that this really obscure school in Missouri is replacing its footbal field with artificial maroon and gray turf. I told my dad about it (who works in Turf) and he reminded me that Boise State has a bright blue football field. I remarked that it probably get really dirty and stained after a while and he told me that artifical fields are washed with a special kind of detergent. I had no idea such things were going on in the world. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but that seems pretty weird. It's like, "oh...I'm just gonna go wash the grass, no big deal." I know that real grass needs a lot of maintenance, but that just seems a little extreme. So that's a weird things that exists.  Plus, falling down on artificial grass, really scratchy and painful. And I wouldn't want to be the one to be mopping up the blood. Just sayin'.

Okay, here's the thing about college, people go out and drink and party and stay up until one o'clock in the morning and scream and yell and smoke hookahs in front of my dorm, namely, people in my dorm go out and party and drink and make noise and leave chairs randomly in the stairwell until three o'clock in the morning. Just in time for construction to start at six. Seriously, college, what do you want from me?  It's not like I really care what they do; it's their lives and their GPAs, but, it's always a bit of a shocker when I hear people discussing black outs, frat-fights, and hook ups. Don't get me wrong, I know this sort of stuff goes on, I haven't been living under a rock. But, what get's me, is that these are the actual lives of real people; I mean, you could put some of the stories I've heard on 90210 and no one would know the difference. So, that's like 90% of my dorm; then, there's me. The only time I stay up past one is w...

All right, so today, after class, my friend Megan and I decided to buy some morning ice cream at the Penn State creamery, since it was like 5 million degrees outside and all (just kidding, more like 90). It worked out well for me, but not so well for Megan. The second we left the air conditioning, Megan's ice cream started to melt all over her hand (and her arm and her face and her feet). She had a little melt down. Literally. Of course, Megan was inclined to believe that God was punishing her for eating morning ice cream; a kind of, "thou shalt not go to the creamery before noon" sort of thing. But I wasn't getting ice cream all over myself, no, no, not me, because I'm Puerto Rican. You see, we Puerto Ricans, or, for that matter, anyone who is accustomed to a tropical climate, know that, when you eat ice cream, you must always start from the outside first and work your way in. That way, if it starts to melt, the drips will fall inside the cone or dish. That i...

Sometimes, I encounter weird stuff in college, like... 1) Random kid walking up Bigler road with two tampons shoved up his nostrils...I wonder if he knows what they're really for... 2) Group of guys sitting outside my building, in a circle, smoking a hookah and listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Then, 10 minutes later, when it starts raining, they pick up their chairs, move around to the side of the building, under an overhang, and continue like nothing happened. I sure hope it's just tobacco. 3) Spiderman blow up doll in the window of the room two doors down from mind. I don't even want to know. 4) Person playing "Call Me Maybe" on the guitar and singing in front of my dorm at one o'clock in the morning. That's the one I really don't understand. Just sayin'. P.S. Share your college experiences in the comments.

I like commas; in fact, I think commas are the most useful linguistic tool available to writers; I mean, think about it, a comma shows that your ideas are related, they flow, they are interconnected and consistent; semi-colons are kind of like that too, they really break down your sentences; I mean, sometimes, its difficult for readers to see how your seemingly unrelated - and, in my case, usually, totally unrelated ideas - relate, well, that's what semi-colons are for; but, let's be real here, commas are friends, not food -that's from Finding Nemo - , which, by the way, was an excellent movie, though, I didn't appreciate their portrayal of whales, which are shaped like commas; you see, everything fits together into one big idea, like circle; that's why I like commas. Just sayin'.