Just Sayin'

So, the other day I was bored and I got to the corner of YouTube where there are weird, click-baity videos with titles like "What the Thickness of Your Ankles Says About You (Shocking!)" (spoiler alert: I was not shocked). Anyway, I stumbled upon a video about how ketchup is banned in France because it ruins the taste of French food. First of all, let me say that the French eat frogs and snails, and the only thing that would make those swamp creatures mildly palatable would be smothering them in ketchup. Second of all, I just want to announce that I'm tired of the war on ketchup. First they came for mayonnaise and I said nothing because I don't really care about mayonnaise, but now they're coming for ketchup, and I'm not taking that lying down. Move over because I'm about to aggressively defend all condiments. Like, when did it become cool to hate on ketchup -- is that the hip thing for kids to do these days? Even the girl who was presenting the ketchup ...

So, a little while ago, I started writing a blog post about matching Game of Thrones characters with Disney characters. I got about half way through, but then I stopped because  it felt a little forced to me (although I might still publish it because I'll compare Game of Thrones to anything). It just didn't seem like the Disney characters really exemplified the Game of Thrones characters; it seems a bit cliched. I mean, I just feel like a lot of people write articles about which Harry Potter houses Game of Thrones characters would be in and what Arya would look like if she was Lilo from Lilo and Stitch (cute, that's what she would look like). Well, that's all well and good, but I just wasn't feeling it. I thought to myself, Disney characters don't really represent the personalities of Game of Thrones characters. You know what represents the personalities of Game of Thrones characters? Jelly beans. Let me explain. I like jelly beans. I think jelly beans...

So, I will be graduating from college one week from today. (Well, I'll be graduating from college provided I don't completely bomb my finals -- fingers crossed). To give some context, I started this blog at approximately the same time I started college, which is completely weird and surreal to think about. Anyway, I would like to say that I've learned some things about life and friendship and what really matters (blah, blah, blah), but I don't think I have. However, I have acquired some useful tips that will help you succeed in college (sort of). Don't Spend All Your Meal Points on Orange Soda and Pudding: Most colleges and universities have some sort of meal program for undergrad students. Penn State has a meal points system, which allows you to buy food and stuff at all the different dining halls, restaurants, and connivence stores on campus. Now, this is both a good thing and a bad thing. You have lots of options; however,  you also have the opportunity to spe...

So, today is Earth Day and, in honor of Earth Day, I have a message to humanity from the ocean: the ocean doesn't like you very much, and it has good reason to feel that way. I'm currently reading Moby Dick in my English senior seminar class, and, I have to say, I find it to be an extremely annoying book. No, it's not the chapters about blubber. No, it's not the long lists of different types of whales. It's the fact that no one in the book seems to realize that the ocean hates them. Like, there are chapters after chapters about how Moby Dick the whale is a malicious, evil creature who wants to hurt people, which I find to be crazy because the characters in the book are hunting whales . Let me repeat that, they are hunting whales and they get upset that the whales start hunting them back. Ahab and Ishmael and everyone else on that stupid boat have no leg to stand on! (Well, in Ahab's case, he literally has no leg to stand on). I understand that whales are...

So, the new season of Game of Thrones is coming out fairly soon and, in honor of that, I've decided to share with you my latest Game of Thrones conspiracy theory (which, believe me, is one of many). I recently I read this an article which calculated the most important character in Game of Thrones using math. Based on a bunch of algorithms and equations and a whole bunch of other stuff I don't understand, they concluded that Tyrion Lannister is the most important character in Game of Thrones . That's a neat theory and everything, the only problem is that it's wrong. The most important character in Game of Thrones is clearly Ser Pounce, King Tommen's cat. Don't get me wrong, I like Tyrion; he's a good character -- he's just not the most important character. Now, I know what you're thinking: Ser Pounce is only in like two scenes in the entire show. I'm aware of  that. This is because the producers are trying to hide him in plain sight, a clea...

So, today I was eating chocolate eggs (because, you know, Easter and stuff) and I had this thought: "chocolate eggs are so delicious that, if chocolate eggs came from chocolate birds, that species would be seriously endangered." That thought made me so sad that I almost stopped eating chocolate eggs. Almost, but not quite. However, it did make me think. We should seriously be wondering about how ethical chocolate eggs are. Now, I'm not talking about ethics in terms of where the cocoa came from and how much the workers were paid and if the packaging was made from recycled materials. No. I'm talking about how ethical it is to eat chocolate eggs if they come from chocolate birds. Now, I know what you're thinking: "you eat chicken eggs, right? How is this different?" (Or maybe you were thinking that chocolate eggs aren't real and I'm crazy; I'm not a mind reader). That is true. I do eat chicken eggs. I don't really like chickens though. T...

So, I'm not a big deal or anything (seriously though), but I recently did a poster presentation at the Mid-Atlantic Writing Centers Association Conference at Drexel. It was a great, fun experience. Anyway, as I was putting the presentation together, I stuck a photo of a Beluga whale on the poster (because, apparently, I can't take anything seriously). Why did I do that, you may ask? Well, because I'm a quirky person and no one told me I couldn't. One minute I was writing some stuff up for the poster and I just woke up and thought, "Beluga whales, I like them, I'm going to put them on the poster." And I did. They're cute. They have cute faces. They make cute expressions. I asked my presentation partner if I could put a whale on the poster and she was like "uh, why?" and I said "because it's the writing center Beluga whale." I don't mean to brag, but I coined that phrase: the writing center Beluga whale. Enough said. H...