So, I don't know why, but people keep writing songs about me. Now, I understand that I'm just a fantastic person that everyone wants to talk about, but seriously Green Day. One of the first lines of Green Day's song Maria is "someone shot the president and no one knows where Maria went". Now, Green Day, that sends the wrong message.
I mean, I don't care that Green Day wants to make me the inspiration for the first song on their International Superhits Album; that means nothing to me (just a little sarcasm there). But, seriously, couldn't it have been a more positive song? And this is not just a Green Day problem; The Sound of Music being made into a movie was probably the worst thing that could ever have happened to me because now everyone wants to figure out how to solve a problem like Maria.
Excuse you. Who said I was a problem?
All I'm saying is that everyone thinks its really great to be the Puerto Rican Juliet in West Side Story but everyone forgets how horribly drab her clothes are and, of course, that her boyfriend dies in the end. That is not a flattering portrayal. So, its okay if you want to write a song about me, just don't pull a Take a Letter Maria and make me into a gold digger who gets with her boss like three seconds after he leaves his wife. That, my friends, is how we Marias get a bad rap. Now, if you want to write a song about me, let me suggest you take Ricky Martin's Maria or Santana's Maria Maria as a model because let me just say, those Latins know how to write a song about a girl.
Enrique Iglesias can write a song about me anytime he wants.
Warning: Spoilers for both the A Song of Ice and Fire books and the TV show Game of Thrones! Spoilers! Spoilers! An Average White Walker Where do White Walkers come from? This is an often asked question in the A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) universe that has never been answered to my satisfaction. If you're unfamiliar with ASOIAF/ Game of Thrones , the White Walkers are super scary ice/magic creatures/people that lead an army of zombies. (Cool story, right?) An Average Stone Man (Person with Greyscale) The most obvious origin of the White Walkers, of course, is magic. But, as easy as it is to write the White Walkers off as an inexplicable creation of a fantasy world, that's never really been George R.R. Martin's (GRRM) style. In the ASOIAF universe, magic is not unconquerable and it's not an excuse for miraculous, crazy, and inexplicable things to happen. Magic exists, but it has consequences, problems, and failings. For example, Melisandre, the Red W...
So, as sort of a continuation of my last A Song of Ice and Fire blog about Jon Snow's parentage, I've decided to go a little further in depth on this topic and tell you about my predictions for the three heads of the dragon. In case you're unfamiliar with this concept, the three heads of the dragon are a reference to the three headed dragon on the sigil of house Targaryen. This symbol dates back to the days when the Targaryens first arrived in Westeros; the three heads of the dragon represent Aegon the Conqueror (the first Targaryen king) and his two sisters and the three dragons they rode. Now, as you know if you've read A Song of Ice and Fire or seen the TV show, Daenerys Targaryen has managed to hatch three dragons. So, what is pretty obvious is that there is going to be a resurrection of the three headed dragon. It is well established in dragon lore that a dragon can have only one rider. Obviously, Dany, who is, after all, the mother of dragons, is one of the hea...
So, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a pretty serious internet fashion commentator (translation: I once wrote a blog about Disney outfits; you should read it ). Now, I haven't really done any commentary in a while, but I have an excuse: I was watching Game of Thrones -- enough said. Anyway, now that season five is over, I have nothing to do for ten months except wait for the next season of Game of Thrones and dream about who's going to get the ax this time -- and comment on their clothes. I recently realized that I've commented on pretty much every aspect of Game of Thrones ( I have a whole separate blog about it ), but I've never really talked about the fashion. This seems like a huge oversight to me because Game of Thrones is both a triumph of costuming and a complete fashion failure -- depending on which character you're talking about. Thus I've decided to present you a list of the best dressed in Westeros (from worst to best). The Sand...
I feel very sorry for the Starks So, a long time ago when I was first starting to read the A Song of Ice and Fire books, I was trying to convince my friend to read it and one of the first things she asked me about it was if there were any love stories. I had to stop and think about that for a minute because there are like thousands of character arcs, but, in the end, I had to tell her 'no'. I mean, I guess that you could argue that Catelyn and Ned Stark have a bit of a 'love story', but by the time A Game of Thrones opens, the exciting parts of their love story are over. The Starks are happily married with five children which, while one of the happiest stories in A Song of Ice and Fire, isn't particularly interesting. Personally, I would love it if George R.R. Martin wrote a prequel to a Song of Ice and Fire about Robert's Rebellion and how Ned and Catelyn fell in love (that book would also answer a lot of other pressing questions), but I don't t...
Those Eyebrows Though As you know, I have strong opinions about eyebrows . I also have strong opinons about Game of Thrones. Usually, those two things do not intersect, but today they do. Let's not dance around the issue here: Daenerys Targaryen has weird eyebrows. (If you don't watch Game of Thrones , this probably is total nonsense to you. In case you're interested, Daenerys Targaryen is one of the show's main characters. She is descended from a royal line that originated in Valyria. In the A Song of Ice and Fire books , Valyrians have very distinctive physical features: white hair and purple eyes. In the show, Daenerys (aka Dany) has white hair (a wig) but her eyebrows are dark brown -- mostly because the actress' natural hair is dark brown.) Anyway, if you watch Game of Thrones at all you know that Dany looks great in almost every episode and she's completely gorgeous and beautiful. However, the weirdness of her eyebrows is unavoidable. I know it,...
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