So, I don't know why, but people keep writing songs about me. Now, I understand that I'm just a fantastic person that everyone wants to talk about, but seriously Green Day. One of the first lines of Green Day's song Maria is "someone shot the president and no one knows where Maria went". Now, Green Day, that sends the wrong message.
I mean, I don't care that Green Day wants to make me the inspiration for the first song on their International Superhits Album; that means nothing to me (just a little sarcasm there). But, seriously, couldn't it have been a more positive song? And this is not just a Green Day problem; The Sound of Music being made into a movie was probably the worst thing that could ever have happened to me because now everyone wants to figure out how to solve a problem like Maria.
Excuse you. Who said I was a problem?
All I'm saying is that everyone thinks its really great to be the Puerto Rican Juliet in West Side Story but everyone forgets how horribly drab her clothes are and, of course, that her boyfriend dies in the end. That is not a flattering portrayal. So, its okay if you want to write a song about me, just don't pull a Take a Letter Maria and make me into a gold digger who gets with her boss like three seconds after he leaves his wife. That, my friends, is how we Marias get a bad rap. Now, if you want to write a song about me, let me suggest you take Ricky Martin's Maria or Santana's Maria Maria as a model because let me just say, those Latins know how to write a song about a girl.
Enrique Iglesias can write a song about me anytime he wants.
Those Eyebrows Though As you know, I have strong opinions about eyebrows . I also have strong opinons about Game of Thrones. Usually, those two things do not intersect, but today they do. Let's not dance around the issue here: Daenerys Targaryen has weird eyebrows. (If you don't watch Game of Thrones , this probably is total nonsense to you. In case you're interested, Daenerys Targaryen is one of the show's main characters. She is descended from a royal line that originated in Valyria. In the A Song of Ice and Fire books , Valyrians have very distinctive physical features: white hair and purple eyes. In the show, Daenerys (aka Dany) has white hair (a wig) but her eyebrows are dark brown -- mostly because the actress' natural hair is dark brown.) Anyway, if you watch Game of Thrones at all you know that Dany looks great in almost every episode and she's completely gorgeous and beautiful. However, the weirdness of her eyebrows is unavoidable. I know it,...
I have an underrated song series on this blog where I talk about the underrated songs of my favorite artists. I haven't written one of these posts in a while, but they seem to be pretty popular, so I thought I'd write about the most underrated songs of my favorite band of all time: the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Writing this post was really difficult for me because I've never met an RHCP song that I don't like. However, I managed to narrow it down to ten (plus two bonus songs). I should note that the songs on this list aren't necessarily the best or most popular RHCP songs. This is just a list of RHCP songs that are really fantastic and don't get the credit they deserve. I'm excluding songs like "Under the Bridge" and "Give It Away" (which is one of my absolute favorites) because they're too popular. In case you don't know, RHCP is a rock band/alt-rock band (with an emphasis on funk, as you'll see) that was formed in the 1980s...
The one Time Bill was Well Dressed So, in honor of the final season of True Blood , I've decided to share my thoughts on True Blood fashion, because, let me tell you, vampires wear some brilliantly horrible clothes. And by brilliantly horrible, I just mean horrible. Like, take Bill for instance; Bill has not once, in seven seasons, had a decent outfit. The closest he got was the leather jacket he wore in season 2. I swear, for the entirety of season 1 he wore the same STUPID WHITE SHIRT. What is it with that shirt??? Sometimes it'll disappear for a few episodes or for an entire season, then it comes back out of NOWHERE! It's like, every time he takes two fashion steps forward, he then takes ten million steps back. For example, Bill dressed pretty well in seasons three and four. Then, in season five, he went back to the white shirt. Like, what?! It's like he has an on again/off again relationship with that style of shirt; It's basically a metaphor for his r...
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