True Blood Fashion

The one Time Bill was Well Dressed

So, in honor of the final season of True Blood, I've decided to share my thoughts on True Blood fashion, because, let me tell you, vampires wear some brilliantly horrible clothes. And by brilliantly horrible, I just mean horrible.

Like, take Bill for instance; Bill has not once, in seven seasons, had a decent outfit. The closest he got was the leather jacket he wore in season 2. I swear, for the entirety of season 1 he wore the same STUPID WHITE SHIRT. What is it with that shirt??? Sometimes it'll disappear for a few episodes or for an entire season, then it comes back out of NOWHERE! It's like, every time he takes two fashion steps forward, he then takes ten million steps back. For example, Bill dressed pretty well in seasons three and four. Then, in season five, he went back to the white shirt. Like, what?! It's like he has an on again/off again relationship with that style of shirt; It's basically a metaphor for his relationship with Sookie. And just like the Bookie relationship; that shirt hasn't been a good idea for a long time.

This Look is Always a Bad Idea

The white shirt is to Bill what the plaid shirt is to Sam. Seriously, someone needs to take Sam shopping and explain that there are other clothes in the world. Extra points to anyone who can find an episode where Sam wears something besides a white shirt (the black, Merlotte's t-shirt does not count). He even wears plaid in his flash backs!

But, unlike Sam, Bill has had over one hundred years to learn about fashion, so he has no excuse. 

Like, why does no one tell him that that shirt looks terrible on him? You can't wear white when you're that pale; it just looks dumb. Trust me, I'm that pale, I know what I'm talking about!

Not to mention that the whole style of the shirt is just icky. You know what Bill's problem is? He never moved past the Civil War. That is the sort of shirt someone would wear in 1865, not 2009. In fact, I'm pretty sure Bill was wearing that white shirt when he met Lorena. Like, Eric was turned in the 11th century; you don't see him wearing furs and helmets with horns. Come on Bill, let's move into the 21st century.

Eric, on the other hand, wears everything well. Like, it could be the ugliest outfit in the world, and Eric would rock it.

For example, that track suit in season two. That was such a horrible outfit, but then Eric put it on and it became Armani. Like, Bill wore a track suit in another episode and, let me tell you, it was a complete disaster. Eric just looked hot.

Eric is also

the only man, vampire, or werewolf who can smolder so hard in a tank top. I don't know what it is with Eric and black tank tops, but I like it. I think there's at least one Eric Northman black tank top in every season. It's his let's-get-down-to-business top. If Eric puts on a black tank top, you know he's about to vanquish the bad guys, rescue Sookie, and look good doing it. 

It's just basic vampire chic.

However, full disclaimer, the black tank top is not my favorite Eric Northman look. I'm a huge fan of the blue sweater he wore in season three. I mean, even after it got covered with blood stains, it was still pretty stylish. I think that should be a basic requirement for clothes on True Blood. If it doesn't look good spattered with red, take it to good will. 

That's what's so great about the black tank top; it doesn't show the blood. 

But I love the blue sweater because it show cases Eric's more fashionable side. There are two Eric Northmans. There's the Eric Northman who wears track suits and tank tops, and there's the Eric who is so couture, I can't stand it. 

Not to mention, that sweater really showed off his pecs. They don't call it the famous blue sweater for nothing. (But actually, they call it the famous blue sweater, just go look on the internet).

So much better than the animal skins he wore in the Viking flash backs from season 2 (although even that is better that Civil War Bill). 

Flash back Eric is a whole other fashion conversation. 

There will always be a special place in my heart for Eric with a top hat, but his 18th century look in his Nora flash backs was pretty good too. (You have to love that puffy shirt and, seriously, THAT HAIR). But seriously, Eric Northman in a top hat. NEED I SAY MORE?? He's like sexy Dracula. Pam also had a great outfit in that flash back, so it's an all around winner.

Also, who could over look the famous (or infamous, depending on who you're talking to) 80s/90s flash back series. I'm not a big fan of his feathered, 80s hair, but his 90s look was quite something. I don't know where to start. I mean, on anyone else that outfit would look ridiculous, but on Eric...WOW. The hair...the shirt...that pendent...he's the complete package, all wrapped up with a 90s bow. Not to mention that walk; he's like a super model with fangs and light sensitive skin. Also, let's be clear here, Eric's 90s shirt isn't white; it's cream. Eric knows better than to wear a white shirt as a vampire.

I think fashion sense is in Eric's blood. Godric, his maker, is another vampire who can take outfits that would look horrible on anyone else and rock them. Like, Godric essentially wore pajamas in every episode he was in, but somehow it worked for him. He sort of reminded me of a pale little vampire Ghandi. Also, Godric represents the only case of a vampire who can wear white and not look dumb. (Bill Compton, don't try that at home).

Only Pam and Lady Gaga

Also, Godric has the coolest tattoos. I don't know if tattoos count as a fashion choice, but I'm counting them. Actually, I think Godric is the only vampire on the show to have tattoos, so kudos to him.

Then there's Pam. 

Pam has the widest, weirdest fashion range of any character on the show. Sometimes she's in a pink skirt suit, sometimes she's in a purple corset, sometimes she's in red leather. Pam is all over the place in terms of fashion; but she always looks good (well, with the exception of that horrible yellow sweat suit in season five - ugh). Pam is a little like vampire Barbie; she'll wear anything. 

I notice that she wears a lot of tight, black when she's at Fangtasia (I guess you have to dress the part). I appreciate the black rubber dress from season 3. But she also wears a lot of red. My favorite is her Lady Gaga dress (that's actually what they call it, look it up). Only Pam.

She also has some great flash back outfits. Like I said before, her dress in the season five flashbacks (when Pam met Eric) was pretty killer. It's a lot of red brocade with a high collar, very nice. 90s Pam was pretty great too. The sheer shirt and bedazzled belt are just perfect. 

Unfortunately, Willa did not inherit Eric's fashion sense. Her white night gown in season six was pretty, but then she spent most of the rest of the season in a prison uniform. Granted, that wasn't her fault. But I've been extremely disappointed in her in the seventh season. Plaid??? Really, Willa, plaid??? Have you been getting fashion advice from Sam? Sarah Newlin dresses better! (But actually, when she's not on the run or in hiding, Sarah Newlin is a pretty snazzy dresser.

I should of known she would end up in toruble. I mean, if season six's infamous Target run taught me anything, it should have been that Willa cannot dress herself. I had hoped that her clothes would improve once she sobered up, but I was wrong. Bikini top with shorts, really, Willa? Floppy hat? Why would you do this to me? 

Not to mention that Tara looks pretty...interesting in this picture. I really don't know what to say about Tara's fashion sense. Those tank tops and denim shorts that she wore for the first three-ish seasons were fine, but then she became a vampire and it all went down the drain. She wears way too much black, way too much spandex, and way too much glitter. On the plus side, her hair looks great. But overall, it's not a good scene. 

Jessica has the same problem. What is it with all these baby vampires and poor fashion choices? The first couple of seasons were just a hot mess for her. First, she tried to be punk/goth a la Avril Lavigne, then she spent like three episodes in a yellow dress (doesn't she realize it makes her look sallow), then she gets into graphic tees. I give up. I just can't anymore. If you want to wear that for the rest of eternity, go right ahead.

Oh well, maybe she can borrow one of Sookie's five million sun dresses. 

Just sayin'