Just Sayin'

So, a little while ago, I wrote a blog about how annoyed I was with everyone who plays Pokémon Go, and I realized that that wasn't fair. Those people have the Poke Disease, but I have a sickness too. It's called Game of Thrones Disease, and I think it's incurable. What are the symptoms of Game of Thrones disease, you may ask? Well, they include: An undue interest in Kit Harington's hair Referring to betraying someone as "red wedding-ing" them or being "red wedding-ed" Being able to speak authoritatively on the finer points of Dothraki linguistics Saying "the night is dark and full of terrors" when someone tells you to sleep well Knowing the house words and sigils of every family mentioned in the Song of Ice and Fire (House Mormont's sigil is a black bear in a green wood; their words are "Here We Stand," in case you were wondering) Having a strong opinion on the love life of Brienne of Tarth If you display two or mo...

So. Pokémon Go is a thing that happens in the world. I give up. I officially give up. Life as we know it has come to an end. The Pokémon are here. A few days ago, I was at the tutoring center that I work at, just minding my own business and tutoring, when I saw two of the math tutors playing Pokémon Go. They were closing in on a Pokémon, when suddenly it ran away from them or something, and they went tripping over each other to follow it to the other side of the room. And I was just like, "you're at work; what's happening here?" That's when it hit me. I have been consumed by an inexorable tide of Poke Balls floating in a sea of memes, tweets, and GIFS. Translation: I'm getting too old for the Internet. I'm getting too old apps. I've probably said all of that before, but this time I mean it: SAVE ME FROM POKEMON GO!!!!! I don't know about you, but I'm really confused/ horrified by Pokémon Go. One minute, everything was fine and normal then, all ...

So, the other day I was bored and I got to the corner of YouTube where there are weird, click-baity videos with titles like "What the Thickness of Your Ankles Says About You (Shocking!)" (spoiler alert: I was not shocked). Anyway, I stumbled upon a video about how ketchup is banned in France because it ruins the taste of French food. First of all, let me say that the French eat frogs and snails, and the only thing that would make those swamp creatures mildly palatable would be smothering them in ketchup. Second of all, I just want to announce that I'm tired of the war on ketchup. First they came for mayonnaise and I said nothing because I don't really care about mayonnaise, but now they're coming for ketchup, and I'm not taking that lying down. Move over because I'm about to aggressively defend all condiments. Like, when did it become cool to hate on ketchup -- is that the hip thing for kids to do these days? Even the girl who was presenting the ketchup ...

So, a little while ago, I started writing a blog post about matching Game of Thrones characters with Disney characters. I got about half way through, but then I stopped because  it felt a little forced to me (although I might still publish it because I'll compare Game of Thrones to anything). It just didn't seem like the Disney characters really exemplified the Game of Thrones characters; it seems a bit cliched. I mean, I just feel like a lot of people write articles about which Harry Potter houses Game of Thrones characters would be in and what Arya would look like if she was Lilo from Lilo and Stitch (cute, that's what she would look like). Well, that's all well and good, but I just wasn't feeling it. I thought to myself, Disney characters don't really represent the personalities of Game of Thrones characters. You know what represents the personalities of Game of Thrones characters? Jelly beans. Let me explain. I like jelly beans. I think jelly beans...

So, I will be graduating from college one week from today. (Well, I'll be graduating from college provided I don't completely bomb my finals -- fingers crossed). To give some context, I started this blog at approximately the same time I started college, which is completely weird and surreal to think about. Anyway, I would like to say that I've learned some things about life and friendship and what really matters (blah, blah, blah), but I don't think I have. However, I have acquired some useful tips that will help you succeed in college (sort of). Don't Spend All Your Meal Points on Orange Soda and Pudding: Most colleges and universities have some sort of meal program for undergrad students. Penn State has a meal points system, which allows you to buy food and stuff at all the different dining halls, restaurants, and connivence stores on campus. Now, this is both a good thing and a bad thing. You have lots of options; however,  you also have the opportunity to spe...

So, today is Earth Day and, in honor of Earth Day, I have a message to humanity from the ocean: the ocean doesn't like you very much, and it has good reason to feel that way. I'm currently reading Moby Dick in my English senior seminar class, and, I have to say, I find it to be an extremely annoying book. No, it's not the chapters about blubber. No, it's not the long lists of different types of whales. It's the fact that no one in the book seems to realize that the ocean hates them. Like, there are chapters after chapters about how Moby Dick the whale is a malicious, evil creature who wants to hurt people, which I find to be crazy because the characters in the book are hunting whales . Let me repeat that, they are hunting whales and they get upset that the whales start hunting them back. Ahab and Ishmael and everyone else on that stupid boat have no leg to stand on! (Well, in Ahab's case, he literally has no leg to stand on). I understand that whales are...

So, the new season of Game of Thrones is coming out fairly soon and, in honor of that, I've decided to share with you my latest Game of Thrones conspiracy theory (which, believe me, is one of many). I recently I read this an article which calculated the most important character in Game of Thrones using math. Based on a bunch of algorithms and equations and a whole bunch of other stuff I don't understand, they concluded that Tyrion Lannister is the most important character in Game of Thrones . That's a neat theory and everything, the only problem is that it's wrong. The most important character in Game of Thrones is clearly Ser Pounce, King Tommen's cat. Don't get me wrong, I like Tyrion; he's a good character -- he's just not the most important character. Now, I know what you're thinking: Ser Pounce is only in like two scenes in the entire show. I'm aware of  that. This is because the producers are trying to hide him in plain sight, a clea...

So, today I was eating chocolate eggs (because, you know, Easter and stuff) and I had this thought: "chocolate eggs are so delicious that, if chocolate eggs came from chocolate birds, that species would be seriously endangered." That thought made me so sad that I almost stopped eating chocolate eggs. Almost, but not quite. However, it did make me think. We should seriously be wondering about how ethical chocolate eggs are. Now, I'm not talking about ethics in terms of where the cocoa came from and how much the workers were paid and if the packaging was made from recycled materials. No. I'm talking about how ethical it is to eat chocolate eggs if they come from chocolate birds. Now, I know what you're thinking: "you eat chicken eggs, right? How is this different?" (Or maybe you were thinking that chocolate eggs aren't real and I'm crazy; I'm not a mind reader). That is true. I do eat chicken eggs. I don't really like chickens though. T...

So, I'm not a big deal or anything (seriously though), but I recently did a poster presentation at the Mid-Atlantic Writing Centers Association Conference at Drexel. It was a great, fun experience. Anyway, as I was putting the presentation together, I stuck a photo of a Beluga whale on the poster (because, apparently, I can't take anything seriously). Why did I do that, you may ask? Well, because I'm a quirky person and no one told me I couldn't. One minute I was writing some stuff up for the poster and I just woke up and thought, "Beluga whales, I like them, I'm going to put them on the poster." And I did. They're cute. They have cute faces. They make cute expressions. I asked my presentation partner if I could put a whale on the poster and she was like "uh, why?" and I said "because it's the writing center Beluga whale." I don't mean to brag, but I coined that phrase: the writing center Beluga whale. Enough said. H...

So, I'm graduating from college in May and, thus, I have never been less enthusiastic about doing school work. (But, seriously, senior-itis is a real and serious condition that impacts thousands of graduating seniors every year). Consequently, I've been slacking off and watching some TV. As many of you know, Game of Thrones is my absolute favorite TV show. However, true to form, I also watch lots of other, more obscure shows. That being said, I wanted to share with you some of favorite little known TV shows. Fortitude (2015) - I discovered this show on an off chance on Amazon Prime (which, spoiler, is how I discover most TV shows) and devoured the first season in approximately two days. This is a new British drama/thriller/mystery show that takes place in a small town in the arctic circle. It's difficult to describe the plot without giving too much away, but, suffice it to say that a shocking discovery and several grisly murders interrupt life in this small town with un...

The other day I was walking outside at night and I noticed a really bright star and I thought, "huh, maybe that's a planet...maybe that's Venus...or Pluto." Now, I know you can't really see Pluto in the night sky, but, as far as I'm concerned, Pluto is still a planet. I listen to scientists about most things, like global warming and zika virus, but I'm choosing to ignore science here. Pluto is a planet and that's final. It's like, if I see a long necked dinosaur in a museum, I'm going to call in a Brontosaurus. People will be like, "oh no, it's a scientific name-latin-thingymajig," and I'll be like "yeah, yeah, it looks like a Brontosaurus to me." That's how I feel about Pluto. Like, if we had to get rid of a planet, why did it have to be Pluto? It should have been Uranus. Uranus is a joke anyway. Pluto was a good planet. A serious planet. I feel that making it into a dwarf planet wasn't fair to Pluto. ...

So, I'm currently taking a class on African Art History and one of the assessments in the class is a quiz on the geography of Africa. Now, I like this class a lot and find it really interesting, but, when I first heard about the quiz, I was a little annoyed. I was like "really? is  this middle school or something? do I really have to do this?" It seemed kind of silly to me because the last time I had to take a geography quiz was 7th grade. It turns out the quiz was necessary. I am profoundly bad at geography. When my professor was explaining the quiz, he said something to the effect of "I find that this quiz is necessary because American students tend to be bad at geography." Now, the idea that Americans are bad at geography a fairly common stereotype that people, particularly Europeans, have about Americans. I've always thought it was a little unfair, but it turns out that it's totally true. I looked at a blank map of Africa to study for the quiz an...

So, yesterday was Groundhog's Day, which, here in Pennsylvania, is a pretty big deal. Now, I like Groundhog's Day -- mostly because it's the one day a year you can get accurate weather reporting. Weather people lie to you ALL THE TIME. Like, sometimes they'll tell you there's going to be snow and it ends up being sunny. Sometimes they tell you it will rain and there's sleet. If a groundhog tells  you there will be six more weeks of winter, you can bet your bottom dollar that there will be six more weeks of winter (partly because it's Pennsylvania and winter lasts basically until June). Nonetheless, groundhogs are pretty accurate when asked about the weather. Like, if I had a choice, I would have a groundhog tell me the weather every day. This is because I trust groundhogs (or, as I call them, woodchucks -- which I know is sacrilege in Pennsylvania). They're trustworthy animals. I mean, think about it. Groundhogs are fat little ground squirrels with...

I don't like February. No, it's not because of the cold. No, it's not because of the snow. No, it's not because of Valentine's Day -- although, come to think of it, I don't like any of those things either. No, it's because of the nonsensical spelling of the name of the month. I have a longstanding and well documented opposition  to the illogical rules of the English language, however, February is a particularly egregious example. F-E-B-R-U-A-R-Y What? Why is it spelled that way? Who came up with that?? I'm not exactly sure who standardized spelling in the English language, but that person was clearly unaware that 99.9% of all English speakers pronounce February FEB-U-AIR-E not FEB-RUE-AIR-E. Maybe I just come from a part of the country where people pronounce things incorrectly, but pronouncing the first R just sounds super weird to me. Apparently there's some debate about the pronunciation, but I've never met someone who pronounced the ...

If you're on the east coast of the US right now, you're probably being buried alive in snow from Winter Storm Jonas (can we collectively agree to fire the person who decided to name a blizzard after a boy band?). Do you know what would be great in a blizzard like this? A mammoth. You can't drive your car in the snow? Climb on top of a mammoth. Mammoths are the original four wheel drive. Don't have snow tires? Hitch a sled to your mammoth! Mammoths are very fuel efficient, practical, all terrain vehicles. Now, I know what you're thinking: mammoths are extinct, right? Yes, they are...for now. I'm not a scientist. However, if I was a scientist, I would be devoting all my time and energy to resurrecting the Woolly Mammoth. Let me explain. Humans are mostly responsible for the extinction of mammoths (this is why we can't have nice things). Yes, there is some evidence that suggests that climate change may have pushed mammoths to extinction, but there is also a...

Not too long ago, Jenna Marbles made a video about how she's bad at being an adult . I watched that video and I thought: psh, I'm worse at more things than that! I'm horrible at being an adult! I mean, Jenna Marbles has curtains in her house and more than one plate; she's practically the queen of the grownups! I, on the other hand, am very good at not being an adult. First of all, I'm terrible at making phone calls. Jenna Marbles talked about this too, so I think it might be a generational thing. Whenever I make a phone call, I go through a couple of steps: 1) try to convince someone else to make the call, 2) delay making the call as long as possible, 3) spend at least half and hour mentally preparing to make the call, and 4) actually making the call. Consequently, I'm also really bad at answering the phone. I never answer the phone if it's a number I don't know (which means I miss a lot of important calls) and, half the time, if it's a number I kn...

So, I'm not really a fan of New Year's resolutions. To me, it just seems sort of silly because I never stick to them. However, I do think your New Years resolutions say something about you. So, I got to thinking, if Game of Thrones characters made New Year's resolutions, what would they be? Daenerys Targaryen: Learn how to train my dragons. Jon Snow: Figure out this whole Lord of Light resurrection thing. ( Ghost: Munch. Crunch. Lick. Run.) Arya Stark: Cersei Lannister, Walder Frey, Ilyn Payne, Thoros of Myr, Beric Dondarrion, the Red Woman... Looks like he needs a hand. Tyrion Lannister: 1) Get wine. 2) Drink wine. 3) Join Daenerys Targaryen. 4) Meet a dragon. 5) Get wine. 6) Drink wine. Jaime Lannister:  Invest in prosthetics research. Cersei Lanninster: 1) Kill my brother Tyrion. 2) Take vengeance. 3) Drink some wine. 4) Laugh manically. Sansa Stark: 1) Get lemons. 2) Make lemon cakes. 3) Eat lemon cakes. 4) Repeat. Melisandre: Burn Westeros ...

So, I'm basically an old person now, so I just discovered Yik Yak this past year. Yik Yak, in case you're old like me and don't know, is basically an anonymous form of Twitter which shows you posts from people who are geographically near you. That means that the quality of the Yaks are really dependent on where you live; however, since I live in a college town, my Yik Yak is made of win. So, without further ado, I give you the Yik Yak year in review: When You're A Productive & Valuable Employee: Could We Stop Re-Making Movies Already? When the Struggle is Too Real for Spelling: When You Celebrate Father's Day with Yik Yak: When Game of Thrones Betrays You...Again: When You Thank Yik Yak for Your Freedom: When Worlds Collide: The Yummy Yak: The Obligatory Squirrel Yak: The Obligatory "All Weather Sucks" Yak: Ce...