Why Puerto Ricans Succeed at Eating Ice Cream

All right, so today, after class, my friend Megan and I decided to buy some morning ice cream at the Penn State creamery, since it was like 5 million degrees outside and all (just kidding, more like 90). It worked out well for me, but not so well for Megan.

The second we left the air conditioning, Megan's ice cream started to melt all over her hand (and her arm and her face and her feet). She had a little melt down. Literally. Of course, Megan was inclined to believe that God was punishing her for eating morning ice cream; a kind of, "thou shalt not go to the creamery before noon" sort of thing. But I wasn't getting ice cream all over myself, no, no, not me, because I'm Puerto Rican.

You see, we Puerto Ricans, or, for that matter, anyone who is accustomed to a tropical climate, know that, when you eat ice cream, you must always start from the outside first and work your way in. That way, if it starts to melt, the drips will fall inside the cone or dish. That is the succesful way to eat ice cream. Megan started hers from the inside, so she ended eating hers like a lolly-pop. Not pretty.

Morning ice cream is the best kind of ice cream. Just sayin'.