I Would Buy Stock in Scooby Doo and Become Fabulously Wealthy

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So, if I had a lot of money (like that's ever gonna happen), I would invest it all in Scooby Doo - not new, crappy Scooby Doo, classy, 90s Scooby Doo - and I would make a fortune and buy a private island and a monkey. Okay, maybe not a monkey. But seriously, it is impossible to dislike Scooby Doo. Like, I've tried; it just doesn't work.

What?
And there are so many marketing opportunities! They have Scooby snacks, Scooby Doo action figures, Scooby Doo backpacks, and Scooby Doo coloring books. And lets not forget that jewel of American cinema, Scooby Doo Meets Batman. Scooby Doo and the Dark Knight in one 90 minute made-for-tv-production! It's like peanut butter and oreos, too perfect (don't judge its delicious). But actually, Scooby Doo is basically a movie star; I mean he worked with all the pros - like Scooby Doo Meets the Addams Family, Scooby Doo Meets the Three Stooges, Scooby Doo Meets the Boo Brothers, Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School, Scooby Doo Meets the Harlem Globetrotters! Legit, The Harlem Globetrotters were on Scooby Doo! So that was an event in my childhood. You know a TV show is for real when the Harlem Globetrotters start guest starring; take that Cartoon Network!


You see, people like Scooby Doo because it's so relatable! Like, who can't relate to being hungry all the time and eating stuff and wearing funny clothes and pulling masks off of people and driving around in a van with your peeps. I eat stuff all the time! I can totally understand! And losing your glasses? Well, I've never actually done that but I can imagine it's rather unpleasant. In the words of Eddie Izzard, people like Scooby Doo because they believe in "cowardice and sandwiches". I believe in sandwiches too! It's true (http://www.tubechop.com/watch/624306) We have so much in common! I'm going to throw all my money at you because you're a talking dog and I'm able to identify with you. Not literally, of course, because I don't have a tale, but in a cosmic sort of way. But I digress. But seriously, why wouldn't you give all your money to Scrappy Doo? He's so scrappy and adorable.

I'm no economist, but I think that's the basic principle behind investment. Groovy.

Just sayin'

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