Spiderman is to Mary Jane as Batman is to....

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So, following in my theme of superhero related blogs this week, I would like to take a few minutes to discuss Batman. Because, let's me honest here, if the Justice League of America was a box and whisker plot, Batman would be the whisker.

Batman is probably my favorite superhero, but he is also the most enigmatic and difficult to understand. He's not even technically a superhero; he's a rich guy with too much time on his hands. But seriously, there are so many questions about Batman that remain unanswered - where is Gotham city? Why is it always night time there? What does Batman eat for breakfast? How does he get all his hair under that tight, little hat? These are the hard hitting questions that need to be answered! But most importantly, who is Batman's love interest?

Okay, maybe I haven't read the comic books or seen the right movies or TV shows, but it seems like Batman has some trouble with his love life. I don't know very much about Superman, but I think everyone in America knows that Lois Lane is his steady. It's just good superhero, crime fighting etiquette to have some damsel in distress to save; like, you say Spiderman and I say Mary Jane (or Gwen Stacy, to be fair). Batman must have some sort of Hemingway complex or something, because the closest person to a girlfriend in Batman's life is Robin (bromance, cough, cough, bromance).

Maybe it's the English major in me who wants to squeeze Batman in to an archetype, but legitimately, he doesn't fit the superhero archetype! I get that he's supposed to the dark, brooding, lone wolf type but when your longest romantic relationship is with Catwoman, you know you have a problem.

I'm pretty sure that DC Comics only invented Catwoman to try to widen their demographic with women. Note to DC Comics: most women I know are far more interested in muscular guys in tights than someone who goes around dressed like everyday is Halloween. Spandex? Please, that's so last year.

So, I've come to the conclusion that Batman should meet a nice girl, settle down, and maybe have some bat babies. I mean, no one even likes Catwoman - she's so catty.

Just sayin'

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